


And you know my wishes are sincere

by deepestbluest



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Another way to describe this is 'what if all of kakashi's senses were as good as his sense of smell', Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:55:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24651940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deepestbluest/pseuds/deepestbluest
Summary: Kakashi is curled up in Iruka’s bathtub. The water is neither hot nor cold, but it's deep enough to cover him up to his nose.Lifting his mouth out of the water, he says, “I’m sorry to ask you to do this.”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 66
Kudos: 558





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to jessicamiriamdrew for looking this over and helping me keep it consistent, logical, and spelled correctly!
> 
> The title is from "A Sunday Smile" by Beirut
> 
> Some terms from the show this is based on that will help this make sense:
> 
> Sentinels- people with enhanced senses, not necessarily from birth
> 
> Guides- people who know how to help sentinels when they get overwhelmed; mostly fanon
> 
> Zone outs- times sentinels get overwhelmed by their senses

Kakashi knows the moment the Fifth tells him she found a guide for him that he isn't going to be partnered with a ninja on active duty. He's already been partnered with every full-fledged guide in the field and most of the ones still in training.

Even knowing ahead of time that he wouldn't be getting someone like Gai, who still has a team to lead even if Kakashi doesn't, Kakashi has to hand it to Tsunade. Kakashi never would have thought he'd be paired with the man sitting in the hokage’s office when Kakashi arrives.

“Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi says as he takes a seat in the empty chair next to Iruka.

Iruka nods at him. “Kakashi-sensei.”

“So you do remember each other.” Tsunade looks between them. “That will help.”

“With respect,” Iruka says slowly, glancing at Kakashi before he continues, “I don't think that knowing each other by name will do much for this partnership. Kakashi-san spends most of his time on missions. I teach in the Academy. He would be wasted in the village, and I would be a liability out of it.”

He says it with a remarkable lack of poison given what his orders are going to be.

The two of them remember that early, nearly disastrous mission, and they both know he hasn't lost the kind streak that hamstrung him.

He’s done far better as a teacher.

Sending him back into the field to be with Kakashi can only mean Konoha’s supply of guides is lower than Kakashi had thought. By some miracle, he hasn't lost any in battle, but Gai is the only active duty guide who hasn't collapsed from the pace of Kakashi’s missions. 

They'd be a good pair, so they can't be one- Gai is too valuable to be shackled to Kakashi.

Besides, even Gai can't do more for him than Kakashi can do for himself.

“And you, Kakashi?” Tsunade asks. “Do you agree with Iruka?”

“I'm confused about the choice, yes,” Kakashi says.

“Konoha really is behind, isn't it?”

Sitting up straighter, Iruka asks, “Hokage-sama?”

It's interesting to see the change in Iruka’s behavior. With Hiruzen, he’d been openly defiant. With Tsunade, Iruka is still making his objection, but he's being more circumspect about it.

It's a wise decision, but it's disappointing as well. Iruka, like the boy who imprinted on him, is unusually rowdy for a ninja. Naruto is always like that, though, where Iruka is usually polite and personable.

Now and then, Kakashi finds himself watching Iruka at meetings. Iruka has only had one true outburst, but he's the type that can't keep his feelings to himself. 

Being partnered with him is a terrible idea, but there's still an appeal to it.

Tsunade shakes her head. “As much as I respect Hiruzen, he kept Konoha in the past. Working in pairs is the traditional way for a reason, but there are times when tradition needs to give way to innovation.” She sits back in her chair and levels Kakashi with a hard look. “Kid, I know it isn't your fault, but every guide in the village hates the idea of working with you.”

Kakashi ducks his head in acknowledgment. At least she understands it isn't intentional.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi sees Iruka look between them.

“Innovation?”

“Keeping sentinels and guides joined at the hip on missions is the traditional way, but sometimes that's more of a hindrance,” Tsunade explains. “You've noticed that Shizune and I work separately, haven't you?”

Kakashi had wondered about that. Tsunade regularly sends Shizune out on missions; he'd assumed it was due to being hokage and living in a controlled environment.

“You already know how to hold it together through missions. Continuing to pair you up is not only unnecessary, it's wasteful.” Tsunade looks at Iruka. “You don't need me to tell you that you don't belong on missions with enemies Kakashi handles. You're an asset inside the village; I'm not wasting you out there with him.”

“Then what can I do?” Iruka asks, brow furrowing in confusion.

Kakashi already knows what Tsunade’s going to do. She saw through him the first time he returned from a mission, and now she's going to put that knowledge to use.

“You, Sensei,” Tsunade says, “are going to be the person he comes back to.”


	2. Chapter 2

They head to Iruka’s modest apartment and begin the standard routine for getting a sentinel used to a new guide.

If Kakashi had to pick one part of being a sentinel and call it the worst, this would be it. It's uncomfortable for his new guide and for him.

“Have you been paired with a sentinel before?” Kakashi asks as he walks through Iruka’s home, taking in the modest, tidy space.

Behind him, Iruka makes a thoughtful noise.

“I haven't. I've had a couple students manifest during class, so I've helped them get their senses under control and adjust going forward, but it's different with kids.” A floorboard creaks as he shifts his weight. “I've handled emergency situations a few times, too, but adults don't find me as soothing as children seem to.”

There's a note of disappointment in his voice, but it isn't worth commenting on.

Water rushes through the pipes in the walls, and to Kakashi’s relief, the pipes don't rattle.

The lights are brighter than Kakashi can look at comfortably, but Iruka notices and hands him a pair of sunglasses.

Iruka left a window open earlier, but he lives in a part of the village that’s closer to the forest than the restaurants and far from the red-light district. There's some dust that makes Kakashi sneeze a few times, but he doesn't get hit with the smell of anything that turns his stomach.

“Inuzuka-safe,” Iruka explained earlier. “I don't think I've ever had a class without one.”

Getting fully used to Iruka’s apartment will take time, but for now, Kakashi is familiar enough with it not to be sent further into a zone out if he comes here on his own.

With that out of the way, the worst part is all that's left.

“So,” Kakashi says, turning to face Iruka, “how do you want to do this?”

Iruka clears his throat. “Actually, there's something I’d like to do first. Please wait here for a moment.” He squeezes past Kakashi and trots off to his bedroom, footsteps shinobi-soft but not silent like an ANBU’s.

Kakashi watches him go, a little more drawn to the motion of Iruka’s hips than usual. He shrugs it off as he listens to the sounds of Iruka rooting around. He isn't going to zone out.

Iruka returns quickly, a small, familiar box in one hand.

“It won't be what you need to get used to me, but it might be useful,” he says as he comes to a stop. “Carrying one of these is standard, I know, but I tried something different with this one. It shouldn’t be as jarring.”

He holds his hand out, and, curious, Kakashi takes the box.

He has an identical box with an identical cloth. The difference becomes clear when he opens it.

“Lemon balm?” he asks after a moment.

“It's better than the usual scented oils, right?” Iruka asks. He sounds nervous. “A few medical-nin mentioned familiar scents are better and we’re all used to lemon balm from salves, right?”

“And your students like it,” Kakashi guesses.

Sheepish, Iruka nods.

Kakashi tucks the box into his pocket. The change in scent was an inspired choice. “They're lucky to have such a thoughtful teacher.”

“Which brings us to the awkward part.” Sighing, Iruka asks, “Shirt on or off?”

“On is fine. Your flak jacket will get in the way, though.”

Kakashi has had enough guides that as awkward as this part is, it isn't as bad as it used to be.

Iruka’s face is red as he slips his flak jacket off, but Kakashi has a working theory that he's just one of those people whose face is like that.

“Ready?” Kakashi asks.

Iruka nods and motions at Kakashi to come closer. “You're acting like you're about to be hanged, you know. It’s kind of insulting.”

Kakashi forces himself not to smile at the irritation in Iruka’s voice as he pulls his mask down. “Sorry, Sensei. It's weird if I seem excited about manhandling you, though, isn't it?”

“I suppose it is,” Iruka allows, relenting. “There's no good way to do this.”

Rather than answer, Kakashi walks closer, two steps too close to be polite.

If he’s going to rely on Iruka to use as a touchstone, he has to be able to recognize him. Kakashi might be down to a single, impaired sense. He might have every sense amped up. Every sense might be out of sync.

If a mission goes wrong, Kakashi might be too dangerous to approach by anyone he can't make sense of.

Lifting his hands, Kakashi rests them on Iruka's shoulders. Iruka is more solid than he seems; as Kakashi moves his hands down Iruka’s arms, he can feel the firm muscles every shinobi has- even ones who don't expect to see combat.

Iruka’s fingers and knuckles are rough, but his skin is smooth elsewhere. Whatever he washes with, it doesn't have much of a scent.

He's already off to a better start than a few of the guides who’ve been stuck with Kakashi.

Leaving Iruka’s hands, Kakashi touches Iruka’s face.

It's a handsome face; breaking it down to its angles seems like a waste.

Iruka doesn't close his eyes. He really must be used to handling sentinels; Kakashi can't fully memorize Iruka’s face if he can't see Iruka’s eyes.

He closes his own and goes over each line and angle he just looked over once more, this time with his fingers. Here, too, Iruka’s skin is soft. His forehead is free of wrinkles, as is the space on either side of Iruka’s mouth.

Iruka’s mouth itself is generous, wide to accommodate his many expressions.

In another context, Kakashi would like touching him like this. In this one, Kakashi is more concerned with how each feature aligns with the rest of his face.

Iruka’s cheeks are getting rough; he'll have to shave tomorrow.

An uneven ridge above one of his eyes says it was broken but didn't heal properly, an odd thing for someone like Iruka to have.

Opening his eyes again, Kakashi reminds himself that he’s almost finished getting oriented to Iruka.

Iruka tilts his head without being asked, and Kakashi leans closer still to breathe him in.

Clean and warm with only an undertone of soap- again, Iruka proves himself already sentinel-friendly.

His own smell is nice.

Kakashi doesn't linger at Iruka’s neck.

“Now I get to make up for all that silence, don't I?” Iruka asks as Kakashi moves away. The quirk of his lips says he's laughing at himself.

“That would be helpful.”

Kakashi lays his hand on Iruka’s throat, careful not to press too hard.

Iruka clears his throat. “You felt that lump above my eye, right? I broke it when I was ten, a few months after the Nine Tails’ attack. Running into things was a good way to get my friends to laugh, but I hit a branch too hard. I was too stubborn to see anyone about it, and my hair was long enough to cover it. No one noticed, so it healed wrong.”

His throat vibrates against Kakashi’s hand and in his ears with each word. Even if Kakashi can't hear him, he’ll be able to recognize Iruka by the way his voice feels.

“No one noticed?”

“I was a lively child,” Iruka says, dismissing Kakashi’s concern. “Besides, keeping a secret from the adults felt special.”

From what Kakashi remembers overhearing while he was in ANBU, Iruka was more than lively. Keeping track of a ten-year-old who’s prone to playing tricks when you're guarding the hokage had sounded like a unique challenge. Iruka's habit of sneaking things in under his clothes had frustrated a few ninjas to the point where they would just lift him up and shake him until things came out.

Although, according to Tenzou, “that kid” was obliging once they got hold of him.

“I imagine the Third noticed.”

Iruka swallows, and when he speaks, his voice is off. “Probably. I dodged him until my eye didn't hurt anymore, so I can't be sure.”

He speaks so casually about his relationship with the most important man in Konoha, a man who'd also been one of the most powerful people in the world.

Rather than think about a dead man, Kakashi reclaims his hand.

“I appreciate your assistance,” he says. “I know it's an imposition.”

“It's fine,” Iruka says. “Is that really all you need, though?”

“It is. Unless you think I should lick you?” Kakashi asks dryly.

Iruka shuffles awkwardly. “It's your choice.”

“Taste is the hardest to unbalance and linked to smell, so it can be foregone. Although, I'm curious. People don't usually go out of their way to suggest that sense.”

“Children get overwhelmed by a lot of things, and young sentinels have a habit of biting,” Iruka adds, fondness clear in his voice despite his pinched expression.

He smiles a moment later, and Kakashi lets himself share it.

“Well, Sensei, thank you for your patience. Hopefully this will be a wasted afternoon.”

“Even if you don't need me, I wouldn't call it wasted, but I take your point. You'll need a spare key just in case. I'll have one made up tonight. How should I get it to you?”

“I can just use a window.”

“I lock them, and even if I didn't, my neighbors are civilians. Most of them get spooked when they see me going in and out through my own windows. If you're coming here, it would be better if they didn't worry more than they will at the sight of a masked ninja.”

That's a fair point. “I'll swing by tomorrow. What time do you leave for the Academy?”

“Five.”

Kakashi blinks. “Five?”

“I have a lot of setting up to do, and this class is at the point where they like to set traps for me. It's better if I don't spring any during class.”

A rush of gratitude hits Kakashi. Chuunin have to endure far more than jounin. Iruka can't give his students simple tasks then sit back and let them run out their energy chasing cats.

“I'll see you ten minutes before then,” Kakashi says, turning to go. “Later, Iruka-sensei.”

“Ah, of course. Goodnight, Kakashi-sensei.”

⁂

Kakashi shows up two minutes before Iruka is set to leave. He enjoys the way Iruka visibly has to resist the urge to scold him.

The key goes into Kakashi’s kunai bag as the two of them leave together.

Iruka smells as mild as he had yesterday.

Yesterday, Kakashi’s neighbor cooked something so overpowering Kakashi couldn't identify anything in it. Focusing on the softer way Iruka smells relaxes the nausea twisting in Kakashi’s gut. The headache he’d been dealing with eases as well.

The irritation in Iruka’s voice shakes out the sound of another neighbor bellowing in the shower that's been bouncing around Kakashi’s head since last night.

Other sentinels usually see their guides weekly if not daily. For the first time, Kakashi can see why they'd want to do that.

“See you around,” Kakashi tells Iruka, lifting a hand in farewell.

“Goodbye,” Iruka says, losing his irritation as he returns Kakashi’s wave.

⁂

Kakashi hears Gai long before Gai reaches him.

“Kakashi!” Gai yells from the ground. “You have a new guide!”

“I do,” Kakashi agrees, closing his book ahead of what he knows is going to be a too-public discussion. He debates the benefits of getting down from his branch but ultimately decides he’ll hold off for a while. “Active duty sentinels aren't allowed to be unpaired, as you know.”

Gai’s eyes are shining with excitement. “That's right! It sounds like this one is going to be a little different, though, isn't he?”

Iruka’s face, expression shifting from wary to confused to angry to relieved as he realized he was going to be paired up with an active duty sentinel but wouldn't be expected to leave the village with him, flashes before Kakashi’s eyes.

“The situation is going to be different, yes,” he allows.

“But you also already know him, right?” Gai presses.

“A little.” Something strikes Kakashi oddly about the question. “Why?”

Gai beams at him. “I'm just happy!”

Kakashi looks down at him flatly. “You're a terrible liar.”

“I'm better than you are!”

“You're definitely not.”

Gai grins, and Kakashi realizes belatedly that he stepped right into Gai’s trap.

“That isn't-”

“Prove it!” Gai shouts, pointing up at him. “Prove you're a better liar than I am, rival!”

⁂

“Convincing Asuma that Kurenai wanted him to make a grand gesture for her was a dangerous gambit,” Gai says two hours later.

Kakashi doesn't look up from his book. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

“That's true,” Gai agrees. “Unfortunately, our bet wasn't to tell the most dangerous lie. It was to prove how good we are at lying, and convincing Asuma to romance Kurenai doesn't require any great skill.”

Dread mounting, Kakashi closes his book and looks down at his friend. “Gai… What did you do?”

“I won.”

A furious shout of Gai’s name goes up in another part of the village.

“That voice is- Gai, what did you do?”

“Hm? Oh, I had an interesting conversation with a few fellow jounin.” Gai asks. “The Yamanaka clan is very good at what they do, but I suspect the younger generation has a great deal of catching up to do before they reach the level of their clan’s head.”

Inoichi shouts Gai’s name again.

He's much closer than he was last time.

Clearing his throat, Gai says, “Unfortunately, I need to be on my way now. If Inoichi asks-”

“I haven't seen you,” Kakashi finishes. “Don't worry. I'll distract him.”

Already moving, Gai calls, “Thank you, Kakashi! I knew I could count on you!”

⁂

Inoichi stops in front of Kakashi’s tree.

“Kakashi-san-”

“He went that way,” Kakashi says, pointing Inoichi in the same direction Gai ran off in. “If you hurry, you might catch him before he makes it to the forest.”

Inoichi nods crisply. “Thank you.”

Smiling to himself, Kakashi turns the page as Inoichi takes off.

Gai never said anything about the lie having to be the first one they told.

⁂

It takes Naruto until evening to find Kakashi in the grocery store.

“Don't do anything weird to Iruka-sensei,” he says loudly, not bothering to do anything polite like saying hello.

Kakashi fights a sigh. “Just how many of Jiraiya’s novels did you read?”

“Too many, but the journey was really boring and- Hey! No cheating!”

“What is there to cheat at?”

“I know what sentinels are like,” Naruto insists, ignoring the question. “All that sniffing-” he helpfully demonstrates what a sniff is “-and licking.”

Frowning, he sticks his tongue out.

Other customers have started giving them weird looks.

Kakashi takes advantage of the wide berth they're giving Naruto and him to grab the last bundle of bok choy. 

“I have great news, Naruto,” he says mildly. “I didn't lick your teacher. I don't think he would've let me even if I'd wanted to- which I didn't.”

Finished picking vegetables, Kakashi considers whether he wants to buy fish or chicken.

A few steps away, Naruto’s expression lightens, only to darken a moment later. “Hold on. I said sniffing, too.”

Settling on fish, Kakashi turns and heads toward that section of the store. “So you did.”

Naruto chases him. “Hey, hey, you didn't sniff him, did you? Kakashi-sensei, tell me you didn't sniff my da- Iruka-sensei.”

Kakashi lets the slip up go unmentioned.

“Why are you so upset?”

“Everybody knows sentinels and guides like each other,” Naruto mumbles. “They get married all the time. I’ve read all about it, you know.”

Resisting a smile so he can keep teasing Naruto, Kakashi asks, “Do you think I'm going to marry your teacher?”

“I don't!”

“Then what's the problem?”

“That's the problem!” Naruto shouts, gesturing wildly. Two women standing nearby pointedly move away. “You'll play with his heart. Or- Or something!”

Being lectured about breaking hearts would hurt if Naruto weren't having so much difficulty talking about it.

“I've never broken anyone’s heart, Naruto,” Kakashi says, fighting another sigh. “Iruka and I might never even see each other again. The Fifth is just being cautious.”

Naruto puffs out his cheeks in a pout, and Kakashi smiles despite the ache in his chest. It's no wonder so many people are drawn to Naruto. Even when he's being a pest, he's adorable.

The same goes for Sakura and Sasuke. All that yelling and feigned aloofness- it's strange to miss the noise, but if he could have his students back…

Then again, they aren't really his students anymore, are they? Each has been taken under the wing of a member of the Sannin. They've outgrown him.

“Kakashi-sensei?”

Shaking himself internally, Kakashi returns his attention to Naruto, who's frowning at him.

“Something wrong?” he asks.

Naruto puts his hands on his hips. “You aren't zoning out or whatever, are you?”

Kakashi shakes his head. “I'm not.”

Naruto keeps frowning at him.

“What?” Kakashi asks. “Iruka is perfectly safe.”

“But you'll see him if you need to, right?” Naruto asks. “He's a good guide. If you have a sentinel thing, he’ll take care of you.”

His face is pink, and he's glaring at Kakashi the way he used to when he got caught being nice to Sasuke.

“Could that be concern on your face?” Kakashi wheedles. “Is it possible you're worried about your old teacher, Naruto?”

“Of course I am!”

Kakashi freezes, taken aback by the force of Naruto's answer.

Naruto scowls at him, hackles rising. “You're always late and kind of annoying-

“Hey… m”

“-but you're Kakashi-sensei. Sakura and I don't want to lose you, too.”

Warmed despite the dig, Kakashi lays a hand on Naruto’s shoulder. “Thank you, Naruto. You don't need to worry. I'll see him if I need to. Okay?”

“Okay…” Naruto rebounds quickly. “Well, I'm off! Pervy Sage has some weird training for me or something, so we’re leaving for a while again.”

Kakashi waves him forward. “Go on, then. Don't keep him waiting.”

Naruto grins at him, then turns and hurries off.

“What a guy,” Kakashi tells the empty air. “I’m glad I got to teach him, if only for a little while.”

⁂

Eggplant is a wonder plant, Kakashi thinks not for the first time. It has a good texture, it's versatile, and its scent is light.

He erred on the side of chicken- his sense of smell is still keyed up from getting used to Iruka, and strong scents are turning his stomach. He'd been looking forward to having fish after a long surveillance mission, but there's no point if he’ll just get sick.

It would have been helpful to have Iruka talk his senses back to normal, but he'd felt too uncomfortable to ask.

Being a sentinel really is just being overly intimate with people.

Sighing, Kakashi takes a bite of his dinner and settles in to relax for a little while until he's called away again.

⁂

Kakashi forgets about Iruka for four and a half missions.

In the middle of the fifth, he comes up against a missing-nin who distorts sounds. She isn't especially fast or strong, but he and the chuunin who came with him struggle to get anywhere near her until Kakashi disrupts the nerves by his ears with a burst of chakra.

They still have to wear her down for another hour before they make progress.

Not being able to hear is disorienting, but it's disorienting in a way she can't interfere with.

By the time they catch her, Kakashi is riding the edge of a zone out by virtue of his body not knowing which sense to be most overwhelmed by.

Even with the chuunin sent ahead and making a slow, careful return on his own, he barely makes it back to Konoha without zoning out.

Iruka’s apartment is closer than the hospital and the hokage’s office, so he goes there.

When he gets inside, there's a box with his name on it waiting on the floor.

He opens it up despite the sickening way the world is coming in and out of focus, and when he realizes what he's looking at, he almost falls over in relief.

A set of ear plugs, a ring with squares of different textured cloths, a pair of glasses, a set of vials with different colored liquids, and a second, smaller box. There's a note on the second box, but Kakashi can't focus his eyes enough to read it.

He slowly eases himself down onto the floor and lets out a long breath.

He doesn't know where to start, so he doesn't. He just closes his eyes, lets his head drop back against the wall, and waits.

⁂

Iruka arrives with Sakura, their student one step behind him.

Eyes open again, Kakashi watches them exchange looks- his eyes still aren't focusing, so he doesn't know what looks they're exchanging, only that they turn their faces toward each other- before Iruka nods and heads over to the kitchen.

Sakura kneels down next to Kakashi and motions for him to lean forward. When he does, she lays her hands on his head.

Kakashi's hearing returns to him in a rush, the volume cranked up so high the sound of the bird cawing outside feels like a kick to the head.

Sakura pops the earplugs into Kakashi’s ears before he can ask. The cawing is still there and still loud, but his eyes stop watering.

Hands on her hips, Sakura says, “You're lucky you didn't kill yourself, you know. Those chakra blasts broke your skull in two places. Next time, ask someone else to do it for you. Or better yet- don't do it at all.”

The disappointment of a fifteen year old would be funny if it weren't deserved.

“Thank you, Sakura,” Kakashi tells her. “You've come a long way, haven't you?”

She nods crisply, expression serious. There’s still some of that enduring surprise at being praised, but it's growing more and more distant. Sooner than later, he's going to stop being Kakashi-sensei who looks after her and become her Kakashi-sensei, her former teacher who she thinks of fondly but no longer relies on.

How did the Third look at each new generation and not feel like a fossil? Kakashi already feels ancient.

Turning her head, Sakura calls Iruka over.

He steps around her a moment later. There's a bottle of water in one hand; he pats her shoulder with the other.

“Great work as always, Sakura-chan. Be sure to take a snack before you leave.”

“Sensei-”

“I know from the Fifth that fixing nerves is difficult. Take a snack and something to drink. I'll know if you don't, and when I finish with your teacher, you'll be next.”

Getting to her feet, Sakura sighs, but she grabs some things from the kitchen before she leaves.

“Say hello to Ino for me,” Iruka tells her. “The latest flower arrangement in the hospital is especially pretty.”

Kakashi watches, amused, as Sakura’s face turns red.

“That's- Um- Bye, Sensei!” she says quickly, almost out the door.

“Which of us do you think she meant?” Kakashi asks as the door shuts with a sharp click.

Iruka shakes his head. “I doubt even she knows. And we have more important things to work on. Your hearing has to come first since you can hear us clearly even with the plugs.”

Nodding, Kakashi reaches for one, but Iruka shakes his head again.

“Unless you want your hearing to be uneven, it's better if we do both ears together. You aren't in the field; we’re doing this correctly.”

“I've never done it outside of the field.”

“It's lucky for you that I have, isn't it?”

Iruka is smiling, but something about it feels off.

That's no reason to refuse, though, so Kakashi inclines his head and lets Iruka direct him.

⁂

Two minutes into readjusting his sense of hearing, Kakashi figures out what was off about Iruka’s smile.

He also figures out why Naruto and Sakura looked so lost when he started teaching them.

Iruka is a monster.

“Stop trying to do it the way you used to,” Iruka scolds. This is the fourth time in as many minutes. “Your hearing is unreliable because you're making it balance externally instead of internally. What you hear on the right won't be the same volume as what you're hearing on the left.”

Curious despite his growing headache, Kakashi asks, “How do you know it's unreliable?”

“You tilt your head a lot.” Frowning, Iruka snaps his fingers by Kakashi’s ears. “The imbalance can't be too steep or you'd fix it, but your ears aren’t picking up the same frequencies.”

“Lots of people tilt their heads.”

“Not as often as you do, and you often do it to one side with specific types of people.”

Kakashi looks at him in anticipation.

Iruka looks back, expression flat. “Stop trying to adjust your hearing in your ears separately and I’ll tell you.”

⁂

Iruka swaps the earplugs, which Kakashi no longer needs, for the ring with the cloths.

As he hands it over, he says, “You do it when you're listening to people with higher pitched voices. Earlier, you were turning your head so your left ear faced Sakura, but you didn't do that with me.”

Kakashi closes his fingers around the ring. It's made of smooth wood, and the material is neither hot nor cold.

“You're very observant.”

“I teach children. If I'm not observant, someone will try to put a smoke bomb up their nose. Start with the smooth one. It's black.”

⁂

  
  


They go through the box item by item. By the time they reach the last one, Kakashi's senses are almost balanced again.

He'd been certain no guide could do more for him than he could do for himself, but Iruka neatly disproved that.

A headache Kakashi had had for so long he'd forgotten it wasn't always part of him is gone. He doesn't feel delicate.

With his hearing put back in order, the world feels more solid.

As Iruka lifts the second, much smaller box, Kakashi reads the note attached to it and chuckles.

“'Not for Naruto’?”

“If I don't label things, he eats them,” Iruka says around a sigh. “I’d forgotten how willing teenagers are to try anything just in case they like it.”

He pulls out a thin, round wafer.

“I'm not going to like this, am I?” Kakashi asks.

Iruka pauses, wafer still in hand. “You might. People like all sorts of different things.”

He says it confidently, but he looks as dubious as Kakashi feels.

⁂

Kakashi doesn’t like it, but it isn't terrible. It tastes like a plain wafer: flat, a little stale, otherwise unremarkable.

“You don't like sweet things,” Iruka echoes as Kakashi takes a pull on the bottle of water.

“They're always too sweet,” Kakashi explains.

“Fried things, too?”

“Stir fry is fine, but the rest feels like it's sticking to the back of my throat.”

This is a conversation he's had countless times over the years. He waits for the inevitable question.

If he doesn't like sweet things or fried things, does he like _anything?_

“Naruto mentioned you're picky, but I'd assumed that was because he’ll try almost anything.” Tapping his cheek, Iruka says, “He said you eat a lot of soup, I think. Other than that, what sorts of foods do you like?”

Kakashi blinks at him. “That's it?”

Iruka raises both eyebrows. “Did you forget? Most of the sentinels I work with are children, and children have strong opinions on food. It's less extreme in adults, but you don't like what you don't like. You're allowed to do that.”

That's all Iruka has to say, but as he presses Kakashi on the things he likes, Kakashi’s chest feels warm.

⁂

Tsunade sighs. “You mean to tell me the reason you're finishing missions so fast now isn't that you're rushing? You were taking longer before because you couldn't hear out of one ear?”

“I couldn't hear certain pitches, yes.” Kakashi ducks his head. “I apologize, Hokage-sama. I should have had someone double check.”

Tsunade rubs her forehead, and Kakashi can feel her frustration as she waves Shizune over. “We need to test all the sentinels who don't actively work with guides.”

⁂

Gai and Kakashi are walking home when they see a window in the hokage’s office shatter and a chair sail through the air.

“There must be a lot of poorly performing sentinels,” Gai says mildly. “The Fifth seems ready to kill someone.”

A second window shatters and a desk drawer flies out.

Kakashi follows its arc with his eyes.

“I forgot how loud glass shattering can be.”

Gai looks at him oddly. “Should I be concerned about how happy that seems to make you, rival?”

“No,” Kakashi promises. “But if she throws another chair out the window, you might want to redirect your concern”

⁂

“You should touch base with me after missions.”

Kakashi closes his book. Iruka is standing a few steps away, hands on his hips as he looks up at Kakashi. If he's bothered about Kakashi not immediately getting down from his branch when Iruka is speaking to him, it doesn't show on his face.

“I appreciate the thought, Sensei, but now that I know what the true baseline is, I can return to it.”

“For a time, yes. But eventually, you'll become off-balance again.” Brow furrowing, Iruka squints at Kakashi. “You and I are paired together for the foreseeable future, Kakashi-san. I realize it must chafe to be reliant on someone else, but visiting me for a minute or two when you return can help you stay at your best.”

“Chafe” isn't the word Kakashi would choose, but Iruka doesn't know about Obito and Rin.

If he did, he might have actually taken a swing at Kakashi before the Chuunin Exams.

There's a difference between aggressively training students to become effective fighters and preparing them to be sacrifices. Even if the result is the same, there's a distinction.

Iruka wouldn't understand that.

Studying him, Kakashi contemplates how to explain that it's better for him to be alone after missions where he'd need the adjustments Iruka is talking about. Iruka is a competent guide, but he works with children.

Comments from Tenzou aside, Kakashi hasn't been a child for a long time.

Iruka crosses his arms. “You should know I already got permission from the Fifth to hound you about this.”

Kakashi sighs. “It was more than her permission, wasn't it?”

“It was.”

“How about a compromise?” Kakashi suggests. He wouldn't argue with a guide, but something in him is warning him that spending more time with Iruka isn't a good idea. “I'll come see you when I've had a mission that-”

“You'll see me when you've had a mission, yes.”

“Don't think you're pushing too hard?”

“I don't and I'm not.” Iruka shakes his head. “Either you come to me when you return or I’ll come get you. If you doubt that, ask Naruto how many times he managed to miss a full day of school. I’ll save you some time and tell you it isn’t many.”

Without waiting for a reply, he nods briskly, then walks away.

Kakashi sighs. Gai is going to love this.

⁂

Iruka hands Kakashi an ice pack.

“I'm not hurt,” Kakashi tells him, accepting the ice pack out of habit. The mission, escorting an important but low risk lord, hadn't been difficult. They hadn't even been attacked.

His vision is the same as it was before he left.

“You're squinting,” Iruka says as if that explains everything.

Kakashi stares at him until Iruka reclaims the ice pack and presses it to Kakashi’s eye.

“You overuse this one.”

“I don't have much of a choice, Iruka. I need to see what I’m doing, and I can't deactivate the Sharingan.”

Iruka hums to himself but doesn't say anything.

⁂

Kakashi is curled up in Iruka’s bathtub. The water is neither hot nor cold, but it's deep enough to cover him up to his nose.

Lifting his mouth out of the water, he says, “I’m sorry to ask you to do this.”

Iruka, who's sitting with his back to the tub, makes a soft, thoughtful sound. “I’m happy to help. Besides, it isn't that big of an ask, is it?”

“You don't miss having your home to yourself?”

“Not really.” Iruka shrugs one shoulder. “I'm an only child, but our home was always noisy before my parents died. It's been too quiet without them. Naruto makes himself at home when he's in the village, but that's becoming less and less frequent.”

“I see.”

Quiet is something Kakashi understands.

He looks up at the ceiling. On the way back with the scroll they'd been sent to fetch, his team had come up against a team of kunoichi that specialized in chakra bombs.

They'd made it back to Konoha alive, but the disruptions to Kakashi’s senses had been nauseating.

Kakashi has had an isolation bath before, but this is the first time a guide has helped him get into it. Strange as it had been not to do everything, sitting in a dark corner while Iruka fussed with the temperature had been a relief.

“How are things?” Iruka asks. His voice is loud in one ear and inaudible in the other. “Still out of sorts?”

Outside, a bird is singing. That's what Kakashi assumes it's doing, at least; the sound changes octaves and cuts in and out.

“I can see again,” Kakashi admits, “but things come in and out of focus. The water feels normal. On the other hand, I still can't taste that wafer you gave me or smell anything, and my hearing is unreliable.” He pauses, considering. “Am I shouting?”

Iruka shakes his head. “Whispering.”

That was going to be Kakashi’s second guess.

“I'm not going back into the field for a while, am I?”

“You threw up twice on the floor outside my door and only recognized me by patting my face, so I doubt it. Is that going to be a problem?”

Kakashi closes his eye. “No. I’m a good patient; the Fifth and Shizune will confirm it if you ask.”

“Good. I'm going to have to put in for a substitute until you're back on your feet, and I don't want to have to harp on you.”

“You aren't going to make me promise to behave?”

“Do I have to?” Iruka’s voice cuts in and out. “You aren't a child; I don't intend to treat you like one.”

“You threatened me into coming here.”

“Because you were being childish and endangering yourself. I haven't had to go get you in the past, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.”

Iruka’s soft voice sounds like it would if Kakashi were underwater, but when Kakashi listens for it, the sound of Iruka’s heartbeat is steady. Everything else is in flux, even the water, but Iruka’s heartbeat doesn't stutter.

No wonder Naruto is so devoted to him. It must be nice to be loved by someone so reliable.


	3. Chapter 3

“You're benched for two weeks, minimum.”

Tsunade’s voice is hard, but Kakashi knows her anger isn't directed at him. All members of the four-man squad are on medical leave, even though Kakashi was the only sentinel, and Konoha is at war.

Kakashi nods. “I understand, Hokage-sama.”

“Good. As for you, Iruka-” Tsunade looks over at him “-you're going to have to look after him in person. I'm sure you already figured that out, but I don't want you leaving your apartment. We haven't encountered chakra bombs before. I need to know if he experiences any new symptoms.”

Iruka nods. “Yes, Hokage-sama. I've already prepared my plans; I’ll give them to a member of the Academy’s staff on the way out.”

“I knew Hiruzen didn't keep you around just out of sentiment. Shizune will be by with questions about the project you two are working on, I'm sure.”

Iruka nods again. He has two heads briefly, but the second disappears as he says, “I'll be at home with Kakashi-sensei, so if she needs me, I'll be at her disposal.”

He and Shizune exchange looks Kakashi can't see well enough to make sense of.

Tsunade clears her throat.

“Then you're dismissed.”

⁂

Iruka grabs Kakashi's sleeve as they reach the stairs.

“You’re going to fall down if you don't use the railing,” he says lowly. “I know you're concerned about people seeing you and worrying, but morale isn't worth the concussion.”

He's right, but Kakashi saw the looks he got when he and Iruka passed other ninjas on the way here.

It's one thing for Kakashi to recover in the hospital from overusing his Sharingan. It's another thing entirely for them to see him struggling to walk in a straight line.

“You aren't going to use it, are you?”

“If I start to fall-”

Kakashi closes his mouth as Iruka closes his hand around Kakashi’s.

“Railing, hand holding, or piggyback ride,” Iruka says. His face is red, but from the stubborn set of his features, he's going to insist on one of the three.

Swallowing hard, Kakashi squeezes Iruka’s hand.

“This is going to start some gossip, you know.”

“Gossip is just hot air.” He must sense Kakashi's skepticism because Iruka adds, “It can't be worse than when they realized I’d almost blown a mission because I couldn't kill someone. Or when they put that together with my switch to teaching. So unless you have a better objection, this is what we’re doing.”

Kakashi doesn't have one, so they walk down the stairs, hand in hand.

His hearing is still out of sync, so when they pass a group and he hears whispers, he doesn't hear enough to make sense of them.

Save one.

“It's about time he moved on from Mizuki.”

⁂

“You really don't mind?” Kakashi asks as Iruka all but shoves him onto the couch.

“That people think we're together?”

Kakashi nods.

“Not really. It's not as if I have the time to date, so it isn't scaring anyone off.” Iruka ducks his head and lays a hand on the back of his neck. “I owe you a favor- this might get some people off my back about not dating. I'm not so sure about you, though…”

Gai will love it.

“We’ll call it repayment for looking after me for two weeks.”

Iruka shakes his head, but he doesn't argue.

For Iruka, that’s a rarity, and Kakashi appreciates it.

⁂

It's been so long since Kakashi was on bed rest for something other than chakra exhaustion, he'd forgotten how frustrating it is. Iruka has a few books Kakashi could thumb through, but Kakashi still can't see well enough to read.

All he has for entertainment is TV and Iruka.

If he closes his eyes, he can keep his hearing balanced for the length of an episode or two of daytime TV.

The rest of the time he's awake, he watches Iruka.

He learns a few interesting things that way.

Iruka is a lazy eater. That could be innate, but the longer Kakashi watches him, the more convinced he becomes that Iruka is just a poor cook.

He can make a few things well, but his timing is terrible.

“Broccoli cooks slower than beans,” Kakashi points out after a second attempt that sees Iruka almost throwing the wok out the window in his haste to save Kakashi from the smell. “You don't have to cook everything at the same time.”

Iruka rubs the back of his head. He traded his usual ponytail for a lower, looser one. “Sorry, Kakashi-sensei.”

“You can drop the honorific, you know. We’re close enough at this point that it's a little to be so formal, isn't it?”

“If you'd like to,” Iruka says stiffly.

Kakashi sighs. “Or you could keep using it. You still speak formally the rest of the time.”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Not really. You're a polite person; it makes sense that you'd speak that way.”

“But?”

“But you were essentially bathing me a few days ago. I threw up on your doorstep.” Kakashi hesitates, then shrugs off his reservations. “I could find you in a crowd by listening for your heartbeat. That's already intimate, don't you think?”

Iruka frowns. “I suppose that's true…”

Kakashi closes his eye and sinks lower on Iruka’s couch. “Well, it's not like it matters. You're a good guide. I can't ask for more than that, and there's no need for you to push yourself.”

Iruka only says a quiet, “I see,” which is nearly drowned out by the TV clicking on.

⁂

“If I'm calling you Kakashi, you should call me Iruka,” Iruka says as he sets Kakashi's food down.

“You shouldn't let me bully you.”

“I'm not. You made a good point. Our relationship is intimate. Maintaining the usual polite distance could be a hindrance to our work. Plus,” he adds, “you've recovered enough for us to start putting your senses back in order.”

Even with his hearing still unreliable, Kakashi can tell that Iruka is excited. 

⁂

“Is this really the kind of training we’re doing?” Kakashi asks.

Iruka, facing him on the other side of the room, nods. “Yes, it is, and it works. So, what's your answer?”

Kakashi squints. “Three fingers.”

“Nope. Try again.”

⁂

Iruka watches Kakashi with a growing frown.

“What?” Kakashi asks.

“I can't tell if you're showing off or if you're so good at cooking it just looks that way.”

Caught off-guard, Kakashi laughs in surprise. “It’s a fundamental skill, you know. I had to learn how when I was younger, and there's no sense in learning something partway, right?”

He expects Iruka to agree, but Iruka only hums softly.

“You disagree?”

“A little.” Iruka steals a stray carrot. “There's such a thing as learning out of love. Learning for the sake of mastery isn't necessarily the same thing.”

“But they aren't mutually exclusive either.”

“That's right. I wonder how much you can love something you learned out of necessity, though.”

Kakashi nods, allowing the point more because his vision is starting to swim than agreement.

“Go,” Iruka tells him firmly. “I'll bring the food over. You can argue with me when you're sitting down.”

Bowing his head, Kakashi does as Iruka says.

⁂

“Do you always sharpen the vision in that eye?” Iruka asks.

It's been an hour since he said he was going to sleep and headed to his bedroom, but he just opened the door and wandered out.

His hair is loose, and he isn't wearing a shirt.

Blinking, Kakashi says, “Yes.”

“Of course you do. Why didn't I think of that earlier?”

Iruka squints at him, thinking hard.

Uncomfortable with the unexplained attention, Kakashi asks, “What are you really asking, Iruka?”

Iruka puts his hands on his hips. “You're trying to compensate for not being able to see out of one eye by overusing the other one. Vision doesn't work like that. Using it that way must be why you get so many headaches; you're straining constantly.”

Kakashi shrugs. “That may be true, but there's no way around it. I have to compensate somehow.”

“Are you sure it works?” Iruka asks, doubt heavy in his voice.

“I'd tell you if it didn't, wouldn't I?” Kakashi replies.

Iruka ducks his head, discomfort clear, but all he says is, “Of course. I apologize, Kakashi.”

He makes a hasty retreat, and all Kakashi can do is watch, confused, from the couch.

⁂

The next day is uncomfortable.

Iruka doesn't bring up their aborted conversation, and Kakashi is content with that.

He's less content with the distance Iruka puts between them. There's no helping it- Iruka is sulking and Kakashi is feeling prickly- but it makes his restlessness worse.

He's trying to distract himself from the storm of frustration an arm’s length away so he can take a nap, something he's been trying to do for hours, when the doorbell rings.

Iruka gets to his feet and trots over, and as he opens the door, the storm dissipates.

“Shizune-san!” he says brightly. “Did you come to work on our project?”

“I did!”

Kakashi closes his eyes and wishes his hearing hadn't returned to normal.

“I got the permit applications,” Shizune says as she and Iruka settle down at the table in the kitchen. “I ran the proposition past a few members of the committee off the books, and they seem really interested. Those models you put together really got their attention!”

Iruka laughs, soft and self-conscious.

_ He likes her,  _ Kakashi realizes.

Iruka said he didn't have time to date, not that he didn't want to.

The couple in the apartment below is making lunch together. One of them keeps dropping things, and they're both laughing about it.

Rolling onto his side, Kakashi sighs.

Today is going to be a bad day. The less he fights it, the less it will hurt.

⁂

The sound of Iruka’s voice wakes him up from a doze Kakashi hadn't noticed himself drifting into.

“I really appreciate your help, Shizune-san!” Iruka is saying. His voice is so earnest, Kakashi wants to shake him. “Doing this on my own would have been impossible.”

Shizune laughs softly. “Not impossible- just very difficult. You'd still get it done.”

“I suppose, but I’m still grateful.”

“You know I like working with you! I'm always going to support the Fifth, but I like doing things on my own. Well, not on my own, but with other people.”

“She seems like a good sentinel to be matched with.” A floorboard creaks as Iruka shifts his weight. “Hey, Shizune-san?”

“Yes?”

“Actually, never mind! I think I figured it out on my own.”

Humming softly, Shizune asks, “Is that so? Because if you were going to ask how I work so well with the Fifth when we’re so different, I was going to tell you something that might explain it.”

Iruka splutters.

“I've known Tsunade-sama almost my entire life,” Shizune continues. “I know where she's been hurt and what makes her happiest. When she started having difficulty keeping her senses in check, stepping in and helping was easy.

“You and Kakashi-san don't have that kind of history. It's natural that you'd step on each other’s toes.”

“You figured it out that easily, huh?” Iruka asks. “It's more me stepping on his toes.”

He sounds exhausted.

“You kept looking over at him, so it wasn't very difficult to guess.”

“I see…”

“My advice is to remember that people like Tsunade-sama and Kakashi-san aren't like us,” Shizune tells him. “We aren't soldiers like they are, and we never will be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is not doing anything.”

“You're right… Thank you, Shizune-san.”

Kakashi clenches his jaw as Iruka and Shizune trade goodbyes and Shizune leaves.

“I guess it's impossible after all,” Iruka says softly after he closes the door. “I never see what's right in front of me. At least Shizune-san was kind about it.”

He stands there for a long moment before he returns to the table where he and Shizune had been working.

This isn't Kakashi's business, so when Iruka trudges to his bedroom and closes the door, Kakashi pretends to be asleep.

⁂

Kakashi wakes up from a second unintended nap to the sound of Iruka moving things around in the kitchen.

The sky isn't as bright as it was when he saw it last, but it's still too early for dinner.

Before last night, Kakashi would have just gone over and asked what Iruka is doing, but after their near-miss of a fight and with the specter of Iruka’s reaction to Shizune hanging over then, Kakashi opts to make too much noise stretching instead. If Iruka is willing to talk, he’ll take the invitation.

Iruka doesn't say anything, and Kakashi resigns himself to more silence.

He misses the noise Iruka brings with him when he's happy. Grumbled complaints, happy exclamations about students who've done well, an intermittent commentary on the things he's trying to do and how well they're going…Kakashi had thought he'd have to work to adjust to Iruka, but he hadn't. He'd gotten used to all of Iruka’s noise without noticing- so used to it that its absence is keeping him awake.

Finding problems and solving them is what guides do. They're nosy, and that keeps sentinels alive. If Iruka hadn't noticed something was off and pushed, Kakashi would have continued with unbalanced hearing and thought that was just how it is.

Iruka did what he trained for years to do- he saw a problem and was trying to fix it.

Kakashi has never been good at making amends. His father used to push him to reach out, but he died so long ago, the lessons didn't take.

He isn't even certain he's right about why Iruka is upset. Getting it wrong could make things worse.

The sounds in the kitchen stop, and a moment later, Iruka leaves it. He looks at Kakashi squarely and walks over with two cups in his hands; they smell earthy, and Kakashi recognizes them easily as two kinds of tea Iruka makes. He holds one out, pressing it into Kakashi’s hands when Kakashi opens them, then settles on a cushion on the floor.

“Yours is as mild as I can make it,” he explains.

Uncertain how to react, Kakashi nods.

Iruka lifts his own, more fragrant cup to his lips and closes his eyes for a moment as he swallows. “I pushed last night.”

“That's your job.”

“It is.”

He doesn't elaborate.

Kakashi takes a tentative sip from his cup.

His surprise must show because Iruka sighs.

“I wouldn't bring you an apology that would make you sick.”

“This is an apology?”

Iruka’s expression is solemn. “It is.”

Kakashi takes a second sip. “It isn't necessary. Like I said, it's your job. I don't begrudge you for doing it.”

“I'm glad.” Iruka smiles, and Kakashi relaxes at the sight of his familiar blush.

They drink together in silence that relaxes into the comfortable quiet they'd had before last night. Iruka did make the tea mild. It must be from a later harvest; it's more bitter than sweet.

He adjusted to Kakashi’s preferences quickly.

“If I stop sharpening my vision, do you have an alternative?” Kakashi asks. “Or are you saying I should stop and that's the end of it?”

Iruka looks at him sharply, hope lifting his expression. “I have a theory.”

Lifting his cup again, Kakashi says, “I'm listening.”

⁂

“Plastic,” Kakashi says confidently.

“And this one?” Iruka asks.

He taps something, and Kakashi smiles to himself behind his mask.

“Metal.”

“It is- but what kind?”

“We didn't cover that.”

“Indulge me,” Iruka says.

The distance between them from this morning has evaporated; he's been excitedly walking Kakashi through a series of exercises since they finished drinking.

Training has always been utilitarian for Kakashi when Gai didn't involve himself.

Iruka has spent the last ten minutes shaking and tapping things and throwing them at Kakashi if he misidentifies them. Catching with his eyes covered isn't a challenge, and Iruka isn't trying to make it one.

“Remind me what it sounded like.”

Iruka taps it, and Kakashi sharpens his hearing.

It takes him a minute to place the sound, and when he does, he picks up a can from the floor and throws it at Iruka.

“Aluminum. Just like this one.”

“That's very good!” Iruka praises.

With his eyes covered, Kakashi can only imagine the smile that goes with the praise.

⁂

Kakashi watches Iruka pore over the contents of the folder Shizune brought.

After days of hard work, Kakashi’s vision is almost back to normal and the exercises Iruka has been testing out have been interesting practice. They don't all work, but they're things to do.

The longer Kakashi works with Iruka, the more he’s reminded that Iruka teaches children. He defaults to making games of their exercises. It's a needless extra step, but Kakashi doesn't push him on it.

Iruka seems to enjoy the challenge, and Kakashi can't say he hasn't been having fun guessing what Iruka is doing when he's out of Kakashi’s line of sight.

Kakashi hasn't given up on sharpening his vision, but relying more on his hearing has lessened the headaches.

He could let this be a good thing, but as Iruka purses his lips, parsing something unexpected, Kakashi gives into his curiosity and calls his name.

Iruka makes a soft, questioning noise but doesn't look up.

“What do you think of Shizune?”

“Well, she's much better at paperwork than she gets credit for, although there are a few places I don't understand why she’s doing what she's doing.”

Kakashi waits for more, but none comes.

“I meant as a person, Iruka.”

“As a person?” Frowning, Iruka looks up from his papers. “I suppose I like her, but we don't see that much of each other. She works directly with the Fifth, and my assignment keeps me at the Missions Desk. This project is probably the most work we've ever had together.” Iruka’s brow furrows in suspicion. “Why do you ask?”

Kakashi shrugs. “I woke up while you two were working together. You seemed close.”

His carefully chosen lie works. Iruka forgets his suspicions as he leans back and smiles.

“It's easy to be close with someone who shares a passion. Setting up a program to train everyone, ninjas and civilians alike, in what to do if they come online as a sentinel or need to guide a sentinel is something I've wanted to do for a long time, and she’s been pushing for it, too.” He scratches his cheek. “She convinced me the Fifth would bring it to the daimyo if I gave her a plan. She knows a few of the advisors, too, and she's been talking to them, gauging their willingness to support the proposal.”

“Is that so? You two make a good team.”

“I think so, too, but to be honest, I'll be relieved when we finish.”

Swallowing the question he really has, Kakashi asks, “You won't miss working with her?”

Iruka clears his throat. “I will, but it's for the best.”

“For the best?”

“The Fifth cornered me yesterday and told me not to get used to keeping her guide to myself,” Iruka explains faintly. “I got the impression she misses Shizune.”

From his grimace, Iruka didn't get an impression so much as a threat.

“I like Shizune’s company but not enough to risk a hokage’s anger. Besides, I think Shizune would rather spend time with Anko or Kurenai.”

“She would?”

Iruka frowns at him. “She's a lesbian, Kakashi.”

“Oh.”

Iruka sighs, but the look he gives Kakashi after it is amused rather than unhappy.

With nothing else to say, Kakashi nods. “That makes sense”

“You look disappointed. Did you want to ask her out?”

Kakashi shakes his head quickly. “No, no, that isn't it.”

Iruka visibly relaxes. “Then what is?”

Kakashi can't say he'd been fishing for signs of Iruka wanting to ask Shizune out, but he prepared himself for this.

“You know most ninjas in the village, but I don't know many who aren't on active duty. You don't talk about your friends. I was curious about the people you choose to spend your time with.”

“Oh, of course.” Iruka clears his throat. “They're mostly other chuunin who teach at the Academy or people who were in my class. A few didn't graduate, so through them, I know a few civilians.”

He shrugs, but it doesn't hide his smile.

“I suppose you could say we’re friends, too,” Iruka adds.

His voice lifts at the end, questioning.

Kakashi lifts his cup and sips delicately. The tea, another cup of the mild brew, is still warm, and Kakashi hums to himself.

“Friends is good,” he says as he sets the cup back down.

Friendship isn't all Kakashi wants, but it's still good.

It's enough to make Iruka grin at him.

Iruka smiles easily, but every time he looks at Kakashi and his lips curve up, it feels like a victory.

As much as he wants to enjoy the moment, there's a question that easy smile raises, and Kakashi can't let it lie any longer.

“What about Naruto’s other teacher?”

Over the days he's been here, Kakashi has gotten used to the sound of Iruka’s heartbeat. He doesn't focus on it, so it tends to blend into the background, a sound inherent to being around him.

When Iruka’s heart stops beating for a moment, the silence hits like a punch.

It resumes a moment later but faster than before.

“What about him?”

Kakashi weighs his questions. Iruka doesn't know Kakashi overheard that person in the Academy building; he can't know Kakashi has been wondering how Iruka could love someone with that much hate.

“What was he like? You were friends with him, too, right?”

Iruka coughs a laugh. “We weren't,” he says, voice soft. “I was naïve, and he was a good ninja. That's all.”

“That's really it?”

“Is there a different answer you'd like? Perhaps a confession I was secretly in love with him for years?” Iruka shakes his head. “It's nothing that interesting. He was my best friend, someone I trusted without question.

“We spent years together and I never once thought he didn't love Konoha and our students, and I was wrong. He would have razed the village for the chance to kill an innocent child who trusted him. He was willing to kill me to get to our student. That's who Mizuki was.”

Rubbing his forehead, Iruka takes a long, deep breath in. “I might have been more careful if I'd known he was passed over for senior teacher because of questions about a mission, but who knows?”

He looks up at the ceiling, eyes narrowed.

“In the end,” he says, looking at Kakashi once more, “Mizuki was a lesson, not a friend.”

He smiles again, sad and crooked, and in this apartment that smells like Iruka and wrapped in the soft blanket Kakashi has begun to think of as his, Kakashi has the strongest urge to lean over the table and kiss him.

He keeps his hands where they are.

“We learn all sorts of things from the people we call our friends, don't we?” Kakashi asks.

He'd trade the lessons he learned for the chance to have Rin and Obito back in a heartbeat, but then, if he did that, he'd only lose them again.

“We do,” Iruka agrees.

“I could teach you a few things if you'd like.”

Voice flat, Iruka warns, “If you suggest I read Icha Icha again, you'll be the one learning a lesson.”

Kakashi only smiles at him, serene, and Iruka groans.

The conversation lapses, and without any further distractions from Kakashi, Iruka gets back to work. 

As he does, the tip of his pencil balanced on his lower lip, Kakashi can't help but wonder about the one sense that doesn't know Iruka.

⁂

Kurenai comes by the next day.

“So,” she says, looking between them, “I can't tell if you're actually together or if one of you is doing the other a favor, but I have a feeling Gai has been celebrating Kakashi finding his soulmate prematurely.”

Iruka stutters an unconvincing, unfocused protest.

Kurenai looks between them. “I'm not going to ask why you were holding hands, but I’m willing to spread it around that Iruka was trying a new guiding technique. I'd offer to support the rumors that you're together, but you couldn't look less like a couple if you were trying.”

“Thank you,” Iruka says.

Annoyed and not thinking about why, Kakashi says, “Break it to Gai gently.”

Kurenai gives him a knowing look but doesn't say anything.

Kakashi has always liked Kurenai.

“I don't want to be rude, but what brings you here, Kurenai-sensei?” Iruka asks, sounding strained.

“Oh, the Fifth wanted me to check on Kakashi.” Kurenai pats Iruka’s shoulder. “No need to worry, Sensei. Team 8 and Asuma are fine. Changing to lemon balm was a great idea. Even Kiba hasn't had any complaints, and you know how he is.”

The two of them share a look, silently commiserating.

“Well,” she says after a moment, “Kakashi, you look fine. Iruka, you look fine, too. I have plans, so I'll be taking my leave.”

Kakashi nods his goodbye.

Iruka walks over and opens the door open, holding it open for her, but Kurenai pauses with one foot over the threshold.

“Oh, Iruka?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for telling Asuma to redo that report.”

Iruka turns bright red, and Kurenai slips out before he recovers.

⁂

Shutting the door, Iruka sighs.

“What report was that?” Kakashi asks. He can guess what Kurenai really meant, but any details Iruka lets slip could be used to fend Asuma off in the future. “To hear him tell it, Asuma usually turns in good reports.”

“Usually,” Iruka agrees.

The stubborn set of his chin says he knows what Kakashi is after and isn't going to play ball.

Abandoning that approach, Kakashi tries a different tack. “Do you often make Asuma redo reports because Kurenai asks? Or was it a happy coincidence?”

Iruka doesn't speak for a long moment. When he finally does, he lifts one hand and asks, “How many fingers am I holding up?”

Aggrieved, Kakashi sighs and closes his eye. “That's so rude, Sensei.”

⁂

The desire to kiss Iruka doesn't go away.

Sentinels and guides falling in love isn't unprecedented, but it isn't nearly as common as people like to think.

Guiding requires intimacy, but that intimacy doesn't have to become romantic. Kakashi never felt that way about any of his previous guides; most sentinels don’t. Friendship is far more common, and no one Kakashi knows wishes it were otherwise.

Iruka looks after Kakashi well, but as Kakashi lies on his couch, firmly in Iruka’s personal space, that isn't what makes him want to touch Iruka’s face again.

His prickly face, Kakashi can't help but notice. Iruka hasn't been shaving, and his cheeks are dark with a short beard he can't stop scratching. Kakashi wouldn't have guessed it would grow so fast; Kakashi hasn't been shaving either and has little more than stubble.

Kissing him now wouldn't be as nice as it would be if he were clean shaven, but between the beard and the paperwork spread across the table in front of him, he reminds Kakashi of the hero in the latest Icha Icha book. Only a few scenes away from reuniting with his lost love, the sentinel had been overwhelmed by the task of devising a way to get his guide back from the people holding her captive.

Personality-wise, Iruka couldn't be more different from the tortured hero, and Kakashi shakes his head at himself. Iruka is an overworked teacher. The only rescue he's planning is the lesson plan for improving shuriken throwing techniques for left-handed students.

Still, that kiss in the hero’s dingy hideout wouldn't be unsuited to Iruka.

He's certainly passionate enough.

Scratching at his jaw, Iruka looks curiously at Kakashi. “Thinking hard?”

_ Because I was thinking about a scene in one of the Icha Icha books where the sentinel and guide finally kiss after a decade apart,  _ isn't an appropriate answer.

Neither is explaining that Kakashi had been reimagining the scene that followed with Iruka and him.

“Just remembering something.”

“It must be a nice memory,” Iruka says, smiling brightly. “You looked really happy.”

Kakashi picks up the glass of water Iruka brought him earlier and takes a sip, willing away the embarrassment.

“You could say that.”

⁂

Fourteen days of bed rest have passed, and Kakashi’s senses are back to normal. Iruka can reliably make stir fry; he's even come up with a recipe for his own sauce and one for Kakashi.

Everything would be good if it weren't for the fact that Kakashi still wants to kiss Iruka.

“Be careful when you go back out there,” Iruka warns as Kakashi gets up.

“I'm always careful.”

“I suppose you are.”

Iruka shakes his head, and some of his hair falls out of his ponytail. Kakashi’s fingers itch to tuck it behind his ear and pull Iruka in for a kiss.

“Hey, Kakashi?”

“Yes?”

“Be careful.”

Iruka looks at him steadily. He's warning Kakashi, even threatening him, into taking care of himself. It's easy to forget he's more than the gentle, irritable soul who patches up scraped knees and reorders Kakashi’s senses, but Naruto’s de facto father is Naruto’s match. Noisy and impatient and forceful- Iruka’s lesser strength doesn't lessen his attitude.

He's pushy, and knowing he's someone Iruka pushes out of concern makes Kakashi’s heart beat fast.

“Later, Sensei.”

Smiling, Kakashi raises his hand and waves.

⁂

“It really was a misunderstanding?” Gai asks.

He looks more upset than Kakashi feels.

“It's got something to do with chemicals bonding,” Kakashi explains, lying through his teeth. “It was theoretical, but Iruka thought it would be worth trying.”

Gai sighs, and he looks so disheartened by the thought of Kakashi not having found love that Kakashi says, “Well, to celebrate my recovery, I'm going to head to the training area.”

He takes a step forward, and Gai shifts over, blocking him.

“I can't let you train alone,” he says seriously. “I'm going with you.”

“Really, Gai, it's fine,” Kakashi promises.

Hands on his hips, Gai shakes his head. “It isn't!”

Kakashi sighs. “If you insist.”

“I do!”

Kakashi keeps his expression blank as he and Gai head to the training area together.

This time, it's Gai who fell into Kakashi’s trap.


	4. Chapter 4

His first mission after being sidelined goes wrong, and despite knowing he's supposed to go directly to Iruka, Kakashi stops at the Memorial Stone.

Iruka finds him there.

“You're late.”

Kakashi looks up at the sky, comparing the sun’s position in the sky when he arrived to where it is now. It wasn't yet overhead when he came home; it's past that now. “It took you a while to find me.”

“I figured you'd have a reason for taking your time. You aren't reckless.”

“Saving me from a visit from the hokage?”

“The Fifth has more pressing things. You aren't hiding or zoned out.” Walking the rest of the way over, Iruka comes to a stop beside him. “Are they going to add another name?”

“More than one.”

Iruka doesn't say anything for a long moment, just stands with his eyes closed, and Kakashi relaxes. He doesn't want to talk.

He doesn't want to be distracted by the pull in his gut that says he should touch Iruka. Touching him would feel good. Kissing him would feel good.

Kakashi lets the thoughts come and go. He’s been awake for three days straight, but he can't remember how to sleep.

“Do your senses feel distorted?” Iruka asks, voice low.

“No.”

“Do you think they are?”

Kakashi cuts a look at him and finds Iruka looking back.

“I don’t know.”

Iruka lets another long moment pass without speaking. “Come on. It's time to go.”

The urge to protest bubbles up, but Kakashi ignores it. Iruka is right. Kakashi knows that.

“Your apartment?” he asks.

“We can if you want. Yours might be better this time, I think.”

The tightness in Kakashi’s chest loosens a little. “Mine is good, yeah.”

⁂

Iruka sits Kakashi down on the floor and tells him to hold out his hands.

“Close your eyes. I'm going to squeeze your hands. Squeeze back when you feel it.”

Kakashi closes his eyes. A long time passes before Iruka squeezes his left hand, and Kakashi squeezes back.

He hears Iruka draw a sharp breath in.

“Too hard?” Kakashi asks, forcing his hands open. He doesn't open his eyes.

“Too hard,” Iruka agrees. “I'm going to try again. Are you ready, or do you need a minute?”

“I'm ready.”

Another long time passes before Iruka squeezes both of Kakashi’s hands.

Again, Iruka breathes in sharply.

“You can let go and open your eyes now, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi does, but Iruka still looks pained.

His hands are already bruised.

“Iruka-”

“A few crossed wires, I think,” Iruka says mildly. “Let's try something a little different. Okay?”

He raises his eyebrows, and for a moment, Kakashi sees him the way Naruto does. As strong as Kakashi is and all the authority he's been given, he doesn't know what to do.

With Iruka, he doesn't have to.

He can keep giving the reins to Iruka and let him decide the best way forward. All Kakashi has to do is follow.

Kakashi nods. “Okay.”

“Good!” Iruka smiles. “Let’s start by figuring out where things are getting mixed up. Hold out one of your hands. Either will work.”

Kakashi holds out his right hand.

Iruka takes it in both of his. “Can you feel me touching you?”

“No.”

“Tell me when you can.”

He slowly presses his thumbnail into Kakashi’s palm until Kakashi winces and says, “I can feel it.”

Iruka’s thumb freezes.

“You're in luck,” he says as he peers down at Kakashi’s hand. “This is going to be easy.”

“Is that so?”

“It is!” Iruka grins at him. “We’ll be starting small, so it won't even hurt.”

⁂

It does hurt, just not the usual way.

Iruka brushes the back of his fingers back down the inside of Kakashi’s forearm. “This won't work if you don't focus,” he scolds. “If you're zoning out, I need to know.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Kakashi clears his throat. “I'm not zoning out. Just, you know, thinking.”

“You aren't lying, are you?” Iruka asks, frown audible.

It would be easier if Kakashi were. “I'm not lying.”

“Good. Then close your eyes and tell me how many fingers you feel.”

He slides the backs of his fingers up Kakashi’s arm slowly, then back down to his wrist.

Fighting a shiver, Kakashi says, “Two.”

“Correct!”

Iruka sounds so happy, Kakashi feels a flash of guilt.

“One more time on this arm before we check the other,” Iruka says.

Reminding himself this is just a way to realign his senses, nothing more, Kakashi nods.

⁂

In his dream, Iruka’s hands are warm on Kakashi’s hips and his lips are soft as he kisses up Kakashi’s thigh. His voice makes Kakashi’s blood pound as he says Kakashi’s name.

Kakashi wakes up to Yugao’s voice telling him the Fifth has a mission for him, and as he pulls his flak jacket on, he can't tell whether or not he's relieved about the interruption.

⁂

“Something is happening in the Land of the Moon again,” Tsunade says. “I got a request for immediate help from them. They've become an important ally, and they know you. I can't spare Sakura, and Naruto is out of the village. Even if he weren't, he and Lee wouldn't be a suitable team for handling political intrigue. I'd try sending Lee on his own, but…”

She trails off, but Kakashi nods his understanding.

“Lee is Lee,” he finishes. “There's a reason Neji and Tenten take the lead on diplomatic missions.” 

“Exactly. He’ll have to learn eventually, but for now, I need a chaperone and I’d rather send someone they know.”

“Understood. Does he know?”

“I do!” Lee says from the doorway, dressed in his summer uniform with a backpack strapped across his shoulders and his chest. He gives them a sharp salute. “I'm ready to leave whenever you are, Kakashi-sensei!”

Kakashi can't read Yugao’s face and her body is still, but as he leads Lee out of the office, he's confident that she's laughing at him.

⁂

Lee clearly has something on his mind as they run toward their destination but doesn't seem to be able to ask.

When they make camp, Kakashi gives in.

“You can ask, you know.”

Lee freezes in the middle of unrolling his sleeping bag. “Sorry?”

“Whatever you're thinking about, you can ask me.” Lee gives him a doubtful look, and Kakashi sighs. “I've known your teacher almost my entire life, Lee. If I ever got offended by being asked questions, I’ve forgotten how.”

“I don't want to be rude…”

“Well, if you're that worried, I won't push you. I'll be taking the first watch, so-”

“Is being a sentinel really that helpful?” Lee blurts. His face turns red as soon as he does. “That is- As a ninja, it's good, right? Because you can pick up on more?”

Kakashi considers the question. He's gotten it before, in various forms, but it's unexpected from Lee.

“It can be,” he allows, “though it can be a hindrance as well.”

“Because of the zone outs?”

“That's right.”

Lee goes quiet, but Kakashi can feel him thinking hard.

“Are you wondering if being a sentinel would have compensated for the ninjutsu and genjutsu you can't use?”

“…I was.”

There’s shame in Lee’s voice, and Kakashi closes his eye.

He's only ever been a genius. It's a poor complaint, but he's never had to work on something fundamental the way Gai and Lee do.

Managing his senses comes close, but as Iruka pointed out, Kakashi has been doing a poor job of it.

“I don't know if it would have,” Kakashi says when Lee remains silent. “Your teacher isn't a sentinel or good at ninjutsu or genjutsu, but he's one of the best ninjas I know. Did he tell you he came up with an entire fighting style so he could avoid the Sharingan?”

That easily, Lee perks up. “He didn't!”

“You should ask him about it when we get back. The dog treats, too.”

“Dog treats?” Lee echoes.

The shame is gone, replaced by a curiosity that wouldn't be out of place in Naruto’s voice.

“Sorry, but Gai tells the story better than I do,” Kakashi lies. Gai tells a version of the story better than Kakashi does. Kakashi doesn't tell the truth either, so the lies cancel each other. “What I can tell you is that being better at ninjutsu and having sharper senses doesn't mean I’m unbeatable. A creative taijutsu specialist can be a challenging opponent.”

He knows without using any of his senses that when he opens his eye, Lee will be crying.

⁂

Kakashi handles the intrigue.

Lee ties up a few rebellious lords and wins a fight against four competent swordsmen with nothing but his fists.

In the process, a dumpster topples over and Kakashi blacks out.

⁂

He comes to in a familiar position.

“Lee-”

“The doctor was adamant that you not walk,” Lee interrupts, holding on tighter as if Kakashi has the strength to escape a piggyback ride. “I'm very sorry for allowing that man to throw the dumpster, but I can't let you walk yet!”

Too weak to escape, Kakashi sighs.

“Are you feeling better about not being a sentinel?” he asks.

Lee nods vigorously, unsettling Kakashi’s stomach as his body shakes along with Lee’s.

“I am! You lost consciousness very quickly when the garbage fell over. I don't want to be rude, but I'd rather not be like that, Kakashi-sensei.”

There's no dig in his words, but Kakashi can tell the near-reverence Lee has had for him is gone.

When they get back to the village, Kakashi should ask Iruka if that’s something all teachers have to deal with or if he's just unlucky.

⁂

Lee failed to mention that Michiru had arranged for them to take the train most of the way back, and the rush of relief Kakashi feels as he realizes he isn't going to be carried home on a teenager’s back is enough to make his eyes prickle.

“Hikaru-kun looked much happier, didn't he?” Lee asks. He's sitting on the seat across from Kakashi’s, the two of them situated comfortably far from the rest of the passengers. “And Michiru-san was again reunited with the love he'd thought was lost!”

Exhausted though he is, Kakashi can't bring himself to mind Lee’s enthusiasm, and Lee, like Gai, can carry a conversation entirely on his own.

“I hope I find a love like that.” Lee sighs, leaning his face on the window. “Last time we were here, I knew his wife left because she was unhappy, but she didn’t stop loving her husband. And now they're even happier!” Voice dreamy, he adds, “Reunions really are beautiful, aren't they? Especially when one person has been gone like Michiru-san was…”

“Gone” is an understatement, considering he'd been kidnapped, but that's obviously a minor detail to Lee.

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei?”

Closing his eyes, Kakashi makes a questioning noise to let Lee know he's listening.

“Have you ever had someone like that? Who awaits your return whenever you're taken from their side?”

“I have a guide,” Kakashi says automatically.

That isn't what Lee is talking about, and before Kakashi was partnered with Iruka, a guide waiting to see if he needed help was all Kakashi would have meant.

He's been partnered with Iruka now, and it’s wishful thinking that crept into his answer.

Iruka lights up when he sees Kakashi. He goes looking for Kakashi when Kakashi doesn't come back to him fast enough. He holds Kakashi’s hands and helps him sleep.

He's everything Lee means but not.

“A guide? But people usually aren't- Oh! Could it be you and your guide are in love?”

Too tired to come up with a good lie, Kakashi just says, “Something like that,” and drifts off.

⁂

Iruka isn't home yet when Kakashi finishes filling out the report with Lee and makes his way over.

He's strong enough to walk on his own, but he takes advantage of Iruka’s absence to lie down on the couch and under the soft blanket Iruka keeps on it. After being in motion for so long on the train and the return on foot, lying still is a relief and an oddity.

Despite trying for the last two days, his sense of smell hasn't returned since he blacked out, and as he pulls the blanket over his face with one hand and slips his mask down with the other, Kakashi resigns himself to another long evening of rebalancing his senses.

⁂

Kakashi hears Iruka before Iruka opens the door but doesn't get up to unlock the door. He's comfortable, and Iruka is used to coming back and finding Kakashi in his apartment.

Iruka opens the door and turns the light on, and Kakashi turns his head into his arm.

“Well?” Iruka asks. “How bad is it this time?”

“Just my nose.”

“All right. I’ll be over in a minute.”

He sounds exhausted, and when Kakashi sits up to check, Iruka looks even worse than he sounds.

“Did something happen?”

“In a way.”

“Iruka,” Kakashi scolds.

Shaking his head, Iruka says, “Children ask a lot of questions. I'm used to most of them, but they can still catch me off-guard now and then.”

Team 7 frequently surprised Kakashi, but that was by their choices more than what they said.

Box in hand, Iruka makes his way over.

“What was the question?” Kakashi asks. “Or was it something you can't repeat?”

“It was and it wasn’t,” Iruka says as he sits down on the couch next to Kakashi. “I didn't teach Gai’s students, and Lee ambushed me outside the Academy. I've never met a boy his age who was so focused on finding love.”

Kakashi tenses, but Iruka only chuckles.

“He's going to survive heartbreak better than anyone, which is good because he's probably going to experience it the most.

“But enough distractions! Let's get to work on your nose.”

The topic change is a clear sign that he doesn't want to talk about it, so Kakashi lets the subject drop.

⁂

Recapping the bottle, Iruka frowns at him.

“You said your sense of smell was gone, but it's perfectly fine according to this.”

“That was before my nap. It's possible it came back on its own, right?”

Iruka nods, but he doesn't look happy. “It does happen sometimes, although there tend to be other factors at play. The nap itself shouldn't have been enough to reorient you.”

“I'm very gifted, you know,”

Iruka shoots him a flat look.

While he tested Kakashi’s other senses, Iruka’s odd mood had disappeared. It isn't back, but he's giving Kakashi a look that makes Kakashi’s blood pound in his ears.

It's just paranoia. There's no way Iruka knows that Kakashi wants him. He would say it outright if he did.

Wouldn't he?

⁂

Kakashi hums to himself as he washes his hair, enjoying his first post-mission shower. This mission wasn't so bad, but he's never liked going more than a day without washing.

Except that isn't true- there was a time when he would have happily gone days without bathing.

His father had to trick him or physically drag him into the tub. Kakashi had almost outgrown that when the mission went bad and his father stopped being there to make Kakashi get clean.

_ If I hadn't had Mom’s nose, would I have found out I’m a sentinel on a mission instead of when I found you? _

Maybe it would have happened when Obito died.

Maybe it would have happened when he killed Rin.

The turning points in his life have all been marked by the scent of blood. Even passing Team 7 hadn't been bloodless.

He's always hated that smell. Every new bloodletting reminds him of all the ones that came before, and the list of those is long- after all, Chidori made him an excellent assassin.

Not being able to smell had been almost a relief. For a time, Kakashi hadn't been reminded of anything.

Tilting his head into the warm spray, he runs his fingers through his hair, rinsing out the shampoo.

Being able to smell has always meant he'd smell blood.

What was different about Iruka’s apartment? Why hadn't he smelled blood until he left?

Why did taking a nap there fix his senses?

⁂

The answer comes to him as Kakashi is pulling his boxers on.

Iruka.

Kakashi wasn't paying attention, and somehow, he started thinking of Iruka’s apartment as what the world should smell like.

Closing his eye, Kakashi draws a deep breath.

It's past time to go to sleep.

⁂

“There's a missing-nin making trouble on our border with the Land of Iron,” Tsunade tells him. “Ordinarily I’d send a team, but I can't spare that many people. An S-class sentinel and I can't even send someone to go with you…”

She bares her teeth in a grimace, and Kakashi bows his head.

“I understand, Hokage-sama.”

Visibly composing herself, Tsunade nods. “Good. Be extra careful with this one. He's fond of genjutsu. The people of the Land of Iron aren't used to dealing with ninjas, but from the sound of it, this one has been making use of genjutsu.”

“That's really why they sent for a ninja, isn't it? That's the one thing we can do that their samurai aren't used to countering.”

“I would assume so.”

“Is there any word on what types of illusions this one likes?”

Kakashi is expecting it, but he still winces when Tsunade says, “Sensory.”

⁂

Itachi aside, it's been a long time since Kakashi fought a genjutsu user. They're a rare, quirky bunch; their preferences in illusions tend to be eccentric but focused. A result of having an aptitude for twisting reality, Kakashi used to think- genjutsu is the least tangible of ninjas’ skills, so having a pattern to follow could help frame it.

This ninja is making him revise that assumption.

All of Kakashi’s senses are skewed. The difference wasn't great at first, and if he hadn't noticed a smell that usually turns his stomach was only mildly unpleasant, he wouldn't have realized he'd been caught until he was in too deep to resist it.

His back pushed against the alley wall, Kakashi tries once more to lift his headband and free his Sharingan, but like every time before, when he reaches for it, he misses.

His limbs don't move consistently; they even change direction when he's trying to move them in straight lines.

He sees a shadow hiding by the shifting building in the corner of one eye but hears footsteps in the opposite ear.

The ground feels like it's shaking from impact in every direction at once.

The alley is so dirty, so full of trash, Kakashi can't sort out one scent from another. They're at least consistent, but without anything to use as a baseline, he can't begin to sort out anything that could help him find the ninja.

With every other sense unreliable, all Kakashi has is his sense of taste, and without anything to balance it with, it's overcompensating. He can taste the inside of his mouth and every off-kilter scent that filters through his mask.

Iruka is going to be angry with him. Putting his senses back to rights is going to be a long, difficult process.

Closing his eyes, Kakashi takes a deep breath in. If he could just find one thing he could identify…

Something flies at him, and Kakashi dodges. Instead of jumping to his right, he drops straight to his knees, and the kunai hits his chest squarely.

He's saved by two things.

The first is the distance the other ninja keeps between them. He isn't very good at driving the battle or Kakashi would have been dead several times over by now. Another ninja would have taken the risk of coming closer to kill Kakashi, but this one won't get anywhere near.

He hadn't been delicate with the civilians he'd encountered- he must be afraid of fighting another ninja.

The second is the box in his chest pocket. The kunai hits hard enough to break it, but the box stops it from hitting Kakashi.

From the hole in his vest comes a scent every ninja knows.

It’s off slightly but recognizable, and as Kakashi turns his face to the sky, he smiles.

⁂

Missing-nin sealed in his scroll, Kakashi takes his first step toward Konoha.

The illusion broke when the missing-nin died, but his senses haven't returned to normal. The world feels less real now than it did when he was caught in the illusion.

He doesn't realize how warped the world is until he's walked for a few minutes.

“Wrong direction, huh?” he asks the sky.

Fumbling, Kakashi pries the cloth out of its box, holds it to his face, and reminds himself what the way home looks like.

⁂

It's a long, cold journey out of the Land of Iron. It snows in the northern part of the Land of Fire but not in Konoha, and Kakashi has never wished it did.

Despite keeping the cloth in place, Kakashi gets turned around multiple times, prolonging his time in the snow for so long his hands turn blue and he stops noticing the cold.

Iruka isn't going to like seeing him frostbitten.

⁂

Kakashi makes it back to Konoha with Pakkun’s help.

Collapsing just inside the gate, he hears Pakkun bark at Kotetsu and Izumo, maybe in actual barks but maybe not. Kotetsu and Izumo answer, their voices blurring together. Then Kakashi hears too many things at once, every sound mixing into a flood of gibberish.

One sentence separates itself from the rest before he passes out.

“Where's Iruka?”


	5. Chapter 5

Iruka, at least by the time Kakashi wakes up, is right here.

Kakashi doesn't know where “here” is, but he recognizes Iruka by touch. Every other sense is telling him too much to parse, but his numb hands know the shape of Iruka’s face; he checks for the pointed chin, the ridges of the scar that crosses Iruka’s nose, the broken brow bone and finds them all.

When Iruka says his name, the sound is distorted, but with his fingers resting on Iruka’s throat, it feels right.

“Hospital?” Kakashi asks as Iruka puts an arm around his waist and lays Kakashi’s arm over his shoulders.

It would be easier if he were shorter.

“Currently, you're still by the village gate,” Iruka explains. He sounds like three Irukas talking over each other. “You won't be able to sleep in a hospital, so we’re going home.”

Multiple Irukas… That wouldn't be a bad thing.

⁂

Kakashi's body won't stop shaking.

Iruka lays a hand on his arm.

“You’re still cold. Can you make sense of things?”

Kakashi shrugs. He knows up from down and silence from sound, but a lot of that is due to the warmth of Iruka’s hand where it's warming his skin. There's a zone out rushing toward him- Kakashi can see it in the world blurring in and out of focus, can feel it in the inconsistent sounds of Iruka’s voice as it cuts out, can sense it in the absence of all taste and smell, knows it's coming as he loses track of everything that isn't the feeling of his body going cold- and Iruka’s hand won't prevent it.

He still likes the touch. Iruka’s hands are rough, but he’s holding Kakashi’s arm lightly. His fingers aren't restraints; they're extra warmth.

It's nice to be treated gently, even for a little while.

Somewhere, Iruka is saying something. Kakashi doesn't know what. He’s cold except where he isn't.

His eyes are closed, or his vision is just gone, but he feels himself being pulled on. There are two points of warmth now- Iruka must be holding him with both hands.

Maybe they're going to bed together. That would be nice. Iruka is warm. He smells nice when Kakashi’s nose works; he doesn't smell like blood. He has a nice face. Touchable.

He's fond of tea; Kakashi would know what kind he's been drinking if they kissed.

That would be nice.

Sleeping with him would be easy. Iruka is good for all of Kakashi’s tired senses.

Kakashi wouldn't feel cold if he were holding Iruka.

He's drifting on the thought, caught up in the idea of warming up with Iruka’s hands all over him, and almost doesn't recognize that the warmth he'd been feeling isn't from Iruka.

“Shower,” Iruka is saying. Kakashi must have asked what was happening. “Nice hot shower.”

Kakashi mumbles a question, his mouth still too numb to speak, but Iruka understands.

“Your clothes are in the wash. You're naked in my shower, and I’m only in here with you because you'd fall over if I weren't and a bath would take too long to draw.”

The water is hot, but Kakashi is sure he can feel Iruka blushing.

“I promise I’m being clinical about this,” Iruka continues. His voice is still distant, but Kakashi can follow the shape of the words and put them together. “You're cold and dirty, and you can't clean yourself up.”

Kakashi nods. Iruka takes good care of people. The hands rubbing soap over Kakashi’s skin don't stray.

It's disappointing. Getting lost in Iruka’s touch would feel good.

Slowly, as Iruka rubs warmth back into his skin, Kakashi realizes the cold is retreating.

They could stay like this for a long time, Iruka trying to keep Kakashi upright against the wall while he warms him up, and Kakashi would be happy.

They don't, though. Iruka moves onto washing Kakashi’s hair, his fingers rubbing quick, uneven circles over Kakashi's head. They're impossible to get lost in, the pace too quick and irregular, but it feels so good Kakashi can't help leaning into Iruka’s hand.

“Don't fall asleep standing up!” Iruka scolds.

Kakashi hums agreeably.

“Geez… I’m worried about you falling into a coma, my clothes are soaked, and you're having a good time.”

He doesn't sound as unhappy as he's trying to sound.

“‘He's so tall,’” Iruka mimics, continuing his complaints. “It's a good thing you're not or I'd sit you down like a child.”

He goes quiet.

“Ah, that would have been a good idea.”

He doesn't say anything more, just presses a hand over Kakashi’s eyes and nudges him into the spray.

The other combs through Kakashi’s hair, gently untangling it.

No one has done this for him since he was young enough to need his father’s help bathing. He's showered with other people, but they've never kept the water out of his eyes and patiently worked out the knots from days in the field.

Iruka talks to him as he does, but Kakashi lets the words drift over him. With his vision still blurry, he can see another shower, one where Iruka stands in front of him and kisses him as he untangles Kakashi’s hair. Kakashi would see Iruka as well as feel him. He'd feel Iruka’s skin instead of wet cloth, hot from the shower and smooth where he doesn't have deep scars. He'd hear Iruka breathe Kakashi’s name as Kakashi pushed him back-first against the wall, and he'd stroke Kakashi’s face as Kakashi kissed his neck.

Kakashi is pulled out of that world by a new feeling.

“-drying you off,” Iruka is saying. “Sit for a bit, okay?”

He pushes on Kakashi's shoulders, and Kakashi lets his knees bend until he's sitting on the edge of the tub. Iruka lays a rough cloth across his lap.

Without Iruka to keep him warm, Kakashi shivers.

“Is it weird to put you in my underwear?” Iruka asks. “It feels weird, but you have to wear something and your clothes aren't dry.”

Without another word, he disappears, only to return a moment later, here then gone then back again; Kakashi can almost track him by the heat of his blush.

“Up, please,” Iruka says, and with his hands showing Kakashi what to lift, Kakashi picks up one foot after the other.

Soft cloth slides up his legs to his thighs.

Iruka must have decided it would be worse not to put underwear on him.

“Again, I'm just putting clothes on you,” Iruka promises.

“Like a nurse,” Kakashi tries to say. He can't be sure if Iruka understands him, but Iruka pats his knee regardless.

They repeat the process a second time. The pants Iruka picked are soft, too.

Iruka is talking again; Kakashi focuses on his voice instead of the hand still resting on Kakashi's knee.

“-probably better to pull them up at the same time,” Iruka is saying. “I’m going to lift you up a little so I can get them up. The towel will stay right here until I'm done, okay?”

Kakashi wouldn't mind if it didn't, but he nods anyway.

The cold is gone, the zone out averted, but Iruka is so close Kakashi could kiss him if he could remember how to move.

“On the count of three…” Iruka says. “One, two, three- up!”

Kakashi lets himself float as Iruka does as he said and pulls the clothes up before setting Kakashi back down.

“Okay! Now that that's done, the rest is easy.” He lifts Kakashi’s arms one at a time and slips them through a shirt. He pulls it over Kakashi’s head next, then smooths it down his chest.

It isn't as soft as the rest of the clothes, but it’s still good.

He can't get lost in the feeling of being clothed again; each piece feels too different from the others.

Did Iruka think of that just now or has he had all of this ready just in case?

It doesn't really matter, but Kakashi hopes it's the latter.

Iruka pulls him up and, with a hand closed around one of Kakashi's wrists, leads him forward and around corners until he comes to a stop.

“Down, please.”

He presses on Kakashi's shoulders again.

His palms are hot on Kakashi’s skin despite the lingering warmth of the shower.

“I'll be back in a minute. I just need to change my clothes.”

It might be a minute. It might be an hour. Kakashi is too tired to count. All he's certain of is that the longer he lies here, the clearer he can smell Iruka. There isn't much else to smell, just like the day he spent on the couch, and in the absence of anything to distract him, Kakashi lets himself relax into it.

Iruka returns, and without Kakashi having to say anything, he lies down beside Kakashi and pulls the sheets up.

“If you can, focus on matching your breathing to mine,” he says quietly. “With your hearing, not by touching.”

It's difficult to ignore the feeling of Iruka lying next to him. Iruka’s bed is meant for one person, not two, and Iruka’s body is warm and inviting. Kakashi wants to curl up around him and not let go.

He keeps his hands to himself, and not long after he gets it right, he drifts off.

⁂

When he wakes up, it takes him a moment to orient himself.

He knows Iruka’s bedroom. He recognizes the sheets and the grade book on the bedside table. 

Iruka isn't in bed, which is a relief and a disappointment, but Kakashi can hear him in the kitchen. He's in the far corner, moving the pots and pans in the upper cabinets and getting frustrated that he can't find the one he's looking for.

The sounds of his search are loud but bearable.

Kakashi would go out and offer to help, but that wouldn't be a good idea right now.

Rubbing his hands over his face, Kakashi tries to think of a way out of the apartment without Iruka noticing.

Or, tired as he is, slipping and falling on his face.

Which Iruka would notice.

There aren't any good options. Kakashi tries to find even one, but he’s having as much luck as Iruka is having in his search.

If Kakashi weren't hard, planning his escape wouldn't be so difficult, but if he weren't hard, he wouldn't be trying to escape in the first place.

Stuck, Kakashi lies on his back and stares at Iruka’s ceiling. If he waits long enough and Iruka keeps dropping things, the headache that's building might get bad enough he won't have to do anything.

It isn't a good plan, but it _is_ a plan, which is more than he'd had a minute ago.

It might have worked if Iruka’s alarm clock hadn't gone off.

Not expecting it, Kakashi startled at the sound, toppling off Iruka’s bed in surprise. He doesn't land that hard or on anything delicate, but his senses are still scrambled and what should have earned a grunt at most makes him cry out.

He's sitting up, blankets tangled around his feet, when Iruka dashes into the room and turns the alarm off.

“Sorry,” he says, turning to Kakashi sheepishly. “I forgot I’d meant to start getting up earlier.”

“It's fine,” Kakashi assures him absently.

Iruka’s clothes, which are usually in order, are disheveled, his pants low on his hips and the hem of his shirt flipped up on one side.

Making himself look at Iruka’s face and nowhere else, Kakashi nods.

“I was going to stick around until you woke up, but it seemed more important to make something for you to eat,” Iruka explains.

It's a good thing for Kakashi that he didn't stick around.

Kakashi clears his throat. “Thank you, but I'd rather not eat yet.”

“I know you don't like eating so soon, but the Fifth was very clear. Sentinels need to eat as soon as possible after zoning out. I don't want to risk your health.”

Kakashi shifts uncomfortably. It’s true that he doesn't have much of an appetite usually, but he does get hungry after zone outs. The one Iruka just helped him through was worse than most; Kakashi is so hungry it hurts.

A shinobi is someone who endures.

“I'll be out in a minute,” he promises. “Just let me do one quick thing-”

His stomach growls, and Iruka gives him a look that says he's going to dig in his heels.

Walking over, he bends down and takes Kakashi’s wrist. “Food first.”

Kakashi could knock his hand away or break free, but he doesn't.

He remembers what Iruka did while Kakashi was zoned out.

He protests, leaning away as Iruka tries to lift him up, which does stop Iruka.

It must worry him- he abandons his attempt to drag Kakashi into the kitchen and looks him over sharply.

Reflexively, Kakashi tugs the hem of Iruka’s shirt down.

It’s just a regular shirt and one worn thin from wear. It isn't long enough to do what he wants it to; moving his hand like that only directs Iruka’s attention where Kakashi least wants it.

There's a long, uncomfortable pause.

“It's a well-documented reaction,” Kakashi tries weakly. Despite his face burning, he meets Iruka’s gaze steadily. “Sentinels get close to our guides, and being looked after by them does things. I was headed to the bathroom, so if you let me up, I’ll just-”

_Get myself off in there._

It was already going to be awkward, but now that Iruka knows, the thought is mortifying.

Iruka is bashful, but he understands how things like this happen. It's possible he’ll just shrug it off. They'll be uncomfortable for a little while, then move on and never talk about it.

Clearing his throat, Iruka says, “I’ve heard about it.”

“So you know that waking up like this is no different for me than it is for you.”

“That isn't entirely right, though, is it? Your senses are still out of whack, and having sex is a good way to put them back in order. Your body wants to go back to normal. For me, it's not that noble.” Squatting down, Iruka reclaims his hold on Kakashi's wrist and takes the other. “We can do this however you want to.”

Kakashi swallows. “You don't have to.”

“I know that.”

“It’s beyond anything the hokage could reprimand you for not doing.”

Iruka squeezes his wrists lightly. “Kakashi.”

“Yeah?”

“I want to.” He smiles, and it's more hopeful than Kakashi was prepared for. “But you don't have to. The bathroom is still there. You can go back to your apartment and I’ll come by later. I'll still be your guide. But if you want to… If you want to, I do, too.”

Swallowing again, Kakashi nods. “I want to.”

Iruka lets go of one of Kakashi’s wrists and touches his chin. “Don't think you won't be working on your senses while we do this.”

Kakashi nods, and Iruka lifts Kakashi’s chin as he leans in for a soft kiss.

Kakashi has wanted this for so long, he doesn't think; when Iruka starts to pull back, Kakashi chases him and kisses him again.

Iruka lets himself be kept close, and Kakashi gets a third and a fourth kiss before Iruka lays two fingers on Kakashi’s lips.

“So?”

Kakashi blinks, not following.

Iruka raises both eyebrows at him, expectant. “I told you, didn't I? You're working.”

Oh.

“Toothpaste.”

Kakashi tries to kiss Iruka again, but Iruka keeps his fingers where they are.

“What flavor?”

Accepting that he isn't going to get around this, Kakashi sighs and thinks. “Another kiss? To freshen my memory?”

Iruka gives him a look that says he knows exactly what Kakashi is up to, but he lowers his fingers for a moment and says, “One.”

He keeps to the one kiss limit, and when Kakashi deliberately gets the flavor wrong in hopes of another kiss, Iruka takes a step back.

“Mint,” Kakashi quickly corrects himself.

Iruka smiles. “Good. Now we can move onto the next part.”

Kakashi pulls him close again for a celebratory kiss. He only means to give Iruka a peck, but it quickly becomes more.

He doesn't mean to keep going, but it feels so good Kakashi doesn't want to stop. Iruka drops his hand from Kakashi’s face and runs his fingertips down Kakashi’s chest to the waistband of Kakashi's borrowed pants. He plays with the knot on the drawstring, stroking Kakashi more than untying it, and Kakashi clutches Iruka harder.

His senses are ratched up so high, just Iruka’s hand is so intense he can’t remember how to breathe. 

“Hey,” Iruka pants, pulling back. He runs the backs of his fingers down Kakashi’s cheek. “Too much?”

Kakashi breathes out shakily and closes his eyes. He manages a small nod.

Iruka hums. “Do you want to stop?”

Kakashi shakes his head sharply. “I just need a moment.”

“Why don't you take it on the bed? My knees are going to give out if we stay like this anyway.”

They get up together, and Iruka sits him down on the edge of the bed just like he did yesterday.

He kneels down between Kakashi’s legs and waits.

“I did tell you we were going to work on your senses,” he says cheerfully as Kakashi’s breathing finally evens out. “What do you say we start now?”

He smiles up at Kakashi, eyes shining brightly.

Kakashi touches Iruka’s cheek, and Iruka smiles even wider.

“Now sounds good,” Kakashi tells him.

“Then let's get started.” 

⁂

“You know, this isn't what I thought you meant.”

About to kiss another spot on Kakashi’s thigh, Iruka pauses. “It works, though, doesn't it?”

He looks up at Kakashi, genuinely questioning, and Kakashi clears his throat.

“It does.”

“So, there's a different problem?”

Regretting having spoken, Kakashi shakes his head. “There's no problem.”

“But…?”

“It reminds me of a dream I had,” Kakashi mumbles, just to move the conversation forward. “It doesn't matter.”

Iruka hums, his eyes searching Kakashi’s face. After a moment, he nods and finishes leaning in and kisses Kakashi’s thigh.

He's more than halfway up, but he's been dragging this out for ages. First it was touching Kakashi through his pants, then with just the boxers, and now that Kakashi isn't wearing anything, Iruka is taking his time kissing him.

Kakashi looks up at the ceiling like he had earlier, but this time he's wishing Iruka would hurry up.

Other than a few kisses and holding his hand in the beginning, Iruka still hasn't touched Kakashi anywhere but his thighs, and it's killing him.

“You haven't gotten overwhelmed in a while,” Iruka says, tone conversational.

Kakashi looks down at him hopefully.

Iruka grins back.

⁂

Kakashi closes his eyes as he tucks his head into the curve of Iruka’s neck. He isn't going to last long, and it's going to be embarrassing.

Even though he already got off once, he hasn't had sex in a long time. He hasn't done anything in a long time. He'd almost wanted Iruka not to have condoms, just to give himself some time.

Iruka touches Kakashi's back. “Hey. Are you still here?”

Kakashi nods. “Yeah, I just needed a second.”

He needs a lot longer than that.

The soft pressure on his neck is a kiss.

It's the worst time to ask, but it matters, so without lifting his head, Kakashi asks, “Is it just because I'm like this?”

“Like this?”

“Having trouble with my senses.”

“Ah.” Iruka raises his head so his lips brush Kakashi’s jaw as he says, “I would have said yes if you'd asked me the usual way.”

Kakashi’s fingers dig into the sheets.

Iruka strokes his back, and Kakashi sighs unsteadily. He's already hot and sweaty, and Iruka’s fingers slide easily over his bare skin.

“What about you?” Iruka asks. “Would you still want to-”

“I would!” Quieter, Kakashi says, “I want to do it right.”

Chuckling, Iruka puts his arms around Kakashi's chest and squeezes him. “At this point, you're going to have to work hard to do it wrong.”

He kisses Kakashi’s jaw, and Kakashi breathes out long and slow.

⁂

Iruka’s mattress groans under them, but Kakashi is more interested in the sounds Iruka is making.

“Don't you dare zone out,” Iruka pants.

“I visualized the volume dial and put it back to normal,” Kakashi promises, his own breath coming too fast. “You worry too much. Can't I just like the way you say my name?”

Iruka doesn't reply, just kisses him hard.

⁂

Kakashi stirs awake when Iruka touches his forehead with a damp washcloth.

“How does it feel?” Iruka asks, patting lightly at Kakashi’s hairline. “Hey, hey, don't fall back asleep!”

Humming, Kakashi considers the question. The cloth is soft and cool from the water, the fabric scratchy but not enough that he'd be bothered by it if he weren't focusing.

“Back to normal.”

“Good! And your other senses?”

“Normal,” he reports after a quick check.

He closes his eyes, and Iruka kisses his forehead.

“Don't expect this every time.”

“Why not? It was good, wasn't it?”

Iruka flicks his head. “You know it was. But I have an actual job, and I can't leave in the middle of a parent teacher meeting and come back looking like this.”

“Not even for a quickie? With your ponytail, they'd hardly notice.”

“What did I just say?” Iruka asks.

Cracking his eye open, Kakashi looks Iruka over. His hair is up in the same loose, messy ponytail Kakashi got used to seeing when he was resting here. With it out of the way, Kakashi can see the lingering flush on Iruka’s cheeks.

“If you didn't get so flustered, we could,” Kakashi argues.

Iruka glares at him. “Go back to sleep, Kakashi-san.”

“If you insist.”

Iruka squawks as Kakashi tugs him down and rolls on top of him, only stopping when he has Iruka pinned on his belly. Iruka doesn't try to wriggle free; he grumbles, but even that stops when Kakashi kisses the back of his neck.

“No honorifics in the bedroom.”

“I can't believe I used to think well of you,” Iruka says into his arm. “I suppose that means you really are a good ninja, tricking me like that.”

“You're cute when you sulk, Sensei.”

“I don't know what that voice is trying to suggest, but-”

“I want to sleep, and I want you to stay here with me,” Kakashi says over him. “Is that possible? Or are you going to scold me to death instead?”

Kakashi feels the long breath Iruka lets out.

“Get your knee off my kidney and we can take a nap.”

Kakashi moves his knee, and Iruka sighs in relief.

“We’re showering when we wake up,” Iruka warns.

Kakashi nods, rubbing his nose on the side of Iruka’s neck. “You do smell funky.”

“Hey!”

“But you feel nice. I like the sound of your heartbeat.”

Iruka’s heart beats faster as he fumbles around until he finds Kakashi’s hand. “Go to sleep, Kakashi.”

Rather than point out that Iruka’s heart is beating too fast to be relaxing, Kakashi kisses Iruka’s shoulder and shifts over, moving most of his eight onto the bed, until he's more comfortable. He feels the catch in Iruka’s breath as he does, the small motion of Iruka starting to push back into him; he doesn't say anything about that either.

After a nap, they can get a little dirtier before they take their showers.


	6. Chapter 6

Kakashi is leaning against the wall in the hallway outside the Missions Room, waiting for Iruka’s shift to end, when Naruto comes skidding into the hallway.

He spots Kakashi and shouts, “Kakashi-sensei! I said no weird stuff!”

“Hello, Naruto,” Kakashi says mildly, pleased to see Naruto in high spirits. “Welcome back.”

Folding his arms across his chest, Naruto fixes Kakashi with a flat look. “Don't try to distract me.”

“By saying hello?”

Naruto falters. “Yeah, well, you're tricky. I learned how to spot suspicious behavior from an old man with a bunch of goats, and now you're dating Iruka-sensei. That's very suspicious.” He points an accusatory finger at Kakashi. “You waited for me to leave, didn't you?”

Swallowing a sigh, Kakashi pushes off the wall and walks over.

The sour look on Naruto’s face doesn't stop Kakashi from ruffling his hair.

“Hey!” Naruto protests, glaring.

Kakashi smiles as he reclaims his hand. “Iruka already told you, didn't he?”

Naruto frowns. “Told me what? That you're together? He didn't have to. I saw Sai on the way here, and he told me.”

That sounds like Sai. He's doing better, but he’s still learning what to withhold and what to share.

“No, not that.” Kakashi slips his hands into his pockets. “You're the most important person in his heart, Naruto. Dating me won't change that.”

“Now do you believe me?”

Naruto whips around. “Iruka-sensei!”

“The Fifth is letting me leave early,” Iruka explains from the doorway. “Apparently, that goat farmer you helped is an important man. Konoha just got a little more secure, so I get to go eat lunch with you.”

Naruto rushes over to him, probably thinking he should get Iruka out of the building before the Fifth changes her mind, but Iruka pulls him into a hug.

He laughs as Naruto whines, and it doesn't escape Kakashi that Naruto is hugging Iruka back.

Kakashi would be content to wait for them to be ready to leave, but someone bellows, “Kakashi!”

“Hello, Gai,” Kakashi says, twisting to look over at him. “You're very energetic today.”

Gai’s eyes shine as he says, “I overheard Sai talking to Naruto on my way back from training with Lee. I would have found you immediately, but we had to do one thousand squats first.”

“That was Bushy Brows’ idea, wasn't it?” Naruto asks, popping up by Kakashi’s elbow. “He trains really hard, Kakashi-sensei. It's kind of scary…”

He looks up at Kakashi and grimaces. The expression is so similar to the way he looked at Kakashi before the Chuunin Exams that for a moment, Kakashi almost forgets the last three years.

Iruka joins them, coming to a stop by Kakashi’s free elbow. The brush of his arm against Kakashi’s brings Kakashi back to the present, where Naruto is almost as tall as Iruka and Kakashi’s life is louder than he ever thought he'd want.

Gai and Naruto are going back and forth excitedly, and Kakashi can tell without actively listening that Naruto is getting sucked into a plan of Gai’s.

“Naruto is biting off more than he can chew, isn't he?” Iruka asks.

He sounds amused, and Kakashi hums his agreement.

“A lot more, but he’ll only ignore us if we say anything, won't he?”

“He will.” Iruka shakes his head.

Kakashi leans into Iruka, and Iruka leans into him in return.

Naruto makes a loud gagging sound as he pretends to throw up.

Over his shoulder, Gai looks like he's a small step away from crying happily.

“It's nice to see love like this, isn't it, Naruto?” he asks.

Shrugging, Naruto mumbles, “I guess it's okay. Since they like each other and all that…”

“What a ringing endorsement,” Kakashi drawls.

“Hey! I stopped calling it weird, didn't I?”

“That’s damning yourself with faint praise.”

“Let's go get something to eat!” Iruka says over them. “Gai-san, will you be coming with us?”

Gai shakes his head. “Thank you, Iruka-sensei, but I’m due to practice with Neji in a few minutes. Have a good afternoon together!”

He winks at Kakashi before he turns then runs off with a whoop.

“Kakashi-sensei, you're going to pay, right?” Naruto asks. He gives Kakashi the stink eye.

“Sure, sure,” Kakashi assures him.

“This is more suspicious behavior.”

“Everything is suspicious to you now, isn't it

“You could prove you aren't suspicious by giving me your wallet. If you have it, it won't be a problem.”

“Why do I get the feeling that isn't actually why you're asking?”

The opportunity to snoop is irresistible for Naruto, and as if to prove he hasn't actually grown up after all, his expression turns sly. He reaches for Kakashi’s pocket, as unsubtle as he was in the first bell test.

Iruka is the one who intercepts Naruto’s hand. 

“If Kakashi doesn't pay, I'll take it from his wallet when he's sleeping,” he promises.

Naruto opens his eyes wide as he mock protests, “Iruka-sensei! You'd steal from your boyfriend?”

Iruka squints at him, and Naruto wisely scampers ahead.

“Sensei!” he shouts from a safe distance. “I'm _hungry!”_

“He really is your kid, isn't he?” Kakashi asks. “He talks just like you.”

Rolling his eyes, Iruka closes his hand around Kakashi’s wrist and marches forward, tugging Kakashi along behind him.

Naruto shouts at them to hurry up, and Iruka shouts at him to stop shouting.

Kakashi lets Iruka pull him along, content to listen as Iruka and Naruto bicker good naturedly. Iruka’s hand is warm where he's holding Kakashi’s wrist; the calluses on his fingers catch on the edge of Kakashi's glove.

He lets go when they reach Ichiraku, but he bumps his knee against Kakashi’s thigh now and then as he prompts Naruto to tell him more about his mission.

Kakashi has never had strong feelings about ramen, but lately, when he's away from the village, he finds himself missing the taste.

When they finish eating, Iruka is the one who pays.

“Iruka-sensei!”

“I want to buy you your first meal back home,” Iruka says as they leave Ichiraku. He puts his hands on his hips. “Stop looking at me like I betrayed you.”

Eyes wide, Naruto doesn't reply.

Iruka pats his shoulder. “I know you're going to leave soon, so I want to look after you while you're here, okay?”

Naruto nods stiffly. “Thanks, Iruka-sensei.”

“You're welcome. Be sure to keep coming back so I can keep welcoming you home.”

Glancing between Iruka and Kakashi, Naruto mumbles, “I guess, if you really like him, it isn't so bad if you want to be with Kakashi-sensei. Just don't break up and hate each other!” he adds hastily.

His heart is racing.

“Don't worry. Kakashi will be safe with me,” Iruka promises.

“I didn't say anything about _him…”_

“You didn't have to.” There's a laugh in Iruka’s voice as he says, “A ninja has to see underneath the underneath.”

They're saved from Naruto’s objection by Sakura calling his name.

“Thanks for the food, Iruka-sensei,” he says quickly. “I have to get going now!”

He doesn't wait for an answer, and Iruka sighs as Naruto takes off.

“He's lucky he's so cute,” he complains.

Kakashi hums; he was thinking something similar.

“You know,” Iruka says, not quite looking at Kakashi, “I do have the rest of the day off.”

“Oh? That's convenient. I don't have any missions.”

“Very convenient.”

Kakashi takes a step forward, toward Iruka’s apartment, and Iruka does the same.

Tomorrow, Kakashi may be sent away again without any idea of how long he'll be away or if he'll come back in one piece, but for now, as Iruka pushes him onto his bed, Kakashi doesn't miss the taste of ramen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can say hi on [tumblr](https://asotin.tumblr.com) if you'd like to!


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